Remember, this isn’t about perfection. It’s a practice you can return to again and again. By cultivating this “unrushed” skill, you’re creating a foundation for a truly thriving life. So take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, and enjoy exploring this powerful approach!
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Slow Down to Go Fast
[00:00:00] Slow Down to Go Fast. What an odd paradox and it’s a skill.
[00:00:08] And today we’re here for this real skills workshop. I’m Rick from thriving. Now I’m here with Cathy Vartuli from thriving now and the intimacy dojo. And yeah, does it make any sense to your logical brain to. slow down to go fast?
[00:00:26] I have to say for like 50 years it did not and I was someone who triple tasked all the time and worked long hours and had a full time job and went to college and in the honors program and if I could take, I took, you know, most people were taking six classes.
[00:00:41] I was taking 10 and just, Go, go, go, go, go run the adrenaline. That’s that’s how I’ll prove I’m okay. And I’ve got enough done. And maybe I’ll feel adequate at that point. If I get all these things accomplished. So if you told me, you know, slow down to go fast, I’d be like, you’re, you’re, you’re insane. I don’t want to even listen to you.
[00:01:01] And I would not have come to this call. Um, now I think it’s one of the most wise things I’ve heard. Uh,
[00:01:13] the, um, the human doing conditioning that we’ve all been exposed to. You know, we’re assigned work, and we’re a good student if we get the work done. We’re assigned chores, and we’re a good person if we assign the chores to ourselves eventually and get them all. Internalize that and just do that. And for people that are, are competent and capable, one of the challenges with that is you go from being, um, competent and capable to going from, well, If your typical muggle couldn’t do six classes and I can do 10.
[00:01:57] Um, and actually they’re all stressed out at with six and I’ll be really stressed out only if I do 10, like I’ll take on even more so that I maintain that status. And that’s one of the things that is part of the skill here is to look for, um, what do I get from being rushed? What do I get from being busy?
[00:02:24] Do when people ask, how are you doing? Oh, I’m just so busy. If that is your response, I invite you, like I had to, had to, meaning it felt so essential to look at how I was using busyness, uh, in my relationships, in my presentation in the world. So if people ask, how are you doing? Oh, just things are so busy.
[00:02:53] So busy. I got so many things going on. I got, I just, there’s not enough time. Um, there’s something in that presentation to others. That let’s face it. It’s really common. It’s a way that we can relate. Oh yeah, me too, but, and, and I see that everywhere. I hear it in conversations. I’ll be in a coffee shop and two friends will meet and they haven’t seen each other for a while.
[00:03:18] And what will they talk about? How busy they are? Now, if I establish that, if you suggest to me, That, uh, well, what if you were, what if you slowed down? What? There’s a part of our identity that can get wrapped up in being accomplished, getting things done. Well, I think you’re actually insulting me in a way you’re like, you want to take away my value.
[00:03:47] You know, to get this stuff done, I have to go faster. Like, What are you talking? It doesn’t even make sense what you’re saying. Yeah, I saw a little of that in the unsubscribes. Anytime we do something that, uh, you know, is edgy and this is an edge. That’s why it’s a skill. It’s an edge to have, to be saying to people, uh, I, Care about you.
[00:04:11] I care about your thriving. I care about you having the spaciousness and the chi, the energy, the life force to build the thriving lifestyle that you want. And if you’re starting from busy, bless you. I’ve been there and I could, I could really could describe my life as busy. When I do guess what happens?
[00:04:34] My whole energy changes. Now, when our energy changes, tap, tap, tap, guess what happens? Our nervous system ramps up and our endocrine system, our hormones go, we got to be busy, get it out there. Boom, boom, boom. Um, our, our awareness, uh, focuses down. Imagine if you have a lot to do, you look here and, Oh my gosh, I’ve got to do that.
[00:05:05] And then you turn here and, Oh, I’ve got to do that. It’s not actually an awareness of the whole ecosystem. Including the sweet things, the things that are, are enjoyable, beautiful. Um, Well, I was just thinking when you were talking about how we meet, like, Oh, hi, I’m busy. I’m busy. It’s like busy is meaning busy.
[00:05:28] It’s almost an armor. I’m not really having to interact with the other person and be present with my feelings or where they’re at. I’m just, we’re just using busy as this armor. And I think you were just talking about how, like, when we’re looking at things, if we’re. Oh, everything becomes a task. And I’m not really like, Oh, look at this pretty stone.
[00:05:47] Look how smooth it is. And I love the, wow. The colors, the light hitting that. And Cathy, we’re doing a workshop. What are you doing? Picking up a stone? Like I can pick up a stone. That was on our agenda. Pick up the stones and show it to people. Okay. We’ve put, I picked up a stone. I I’m done. Why aren’t you done?
[00:06:05] You need to go faster. Yeah. Aren’t you done fondling your stone? Well, it could also be, well, I haven’t dusted this in a long time or look at the clutter on my desk, but when we’re with the moment, it’s very, there’s a, we actually draw energy into ourselves from the environment around us. We can get filled up, but we have the busy.
[00:06:29] armor on, we’re not really connecting with other people or ourselves, our own feelings or stuff. We’re just kind of like running. I use the analogy of like running along the surface of the water. If you go fast enough, you don’t sink down. Don’t actually get wet. But it’s very tiring and it doesn’t actually protect us from much except for our own awareness.
[00:06:57] So if I. If I’m rushed, then I need to respond to what she said really quickly,
[00:07:08] and there’s a vibe to that,
[00:07:19] and I want to model that the skill of slowing down
[00:07:33] is sensing and being aware of, okay, I really am up in my primitive brain. I’m, and I’ll give you, I’ll share an example that came to me. I had 15 minutes from the time I got off the toilet to get shower, shower, shade, showered, dressed my nourishment
[00:08:02] and meeCathyhy. Immediately upon looking at the clock, I was like, Ooh, I’m pressure. Think about, Oh, I’m aware of the time. There’s a time pressure. What happens in your body? And I, as I remember seeing eight o’clock, Oh dear. As soon as I go to time pressure, it’s Oh dear. There’s sort of a not enough time.
[00:08:33] I’m, I’m invoking scarcity, not abundance, not what’s 15 times 60. It’s, it’s a lot of seconds. It’s a lot of moments. Um, and just by shifting it from time pressure to time awareness, so I’ve, I switched to time awareness and I thought, you know, five minutes, that’s about right for the shower. And as soon as I turned on the water, there was this like it, and it felt like almost like a push, push in.
[00:09:18] And what did I do? I countered that with some skill. I’m going to let it warm up actually. And I just settled in, let gravity work and I settled into my body. And when I got in the water was, was there and warm. And what was fascinating is I did not rush. It was unrushed. It was in my body. Um, and it’s true.
[00:09:44] I don’t have a lot of hair to wash, so it’s not. You know, like some people, the net result was when I turned off the shower and started drying myself, I noticed that only two minutes had passed, but it felt like I had had a really juicy shower. There were at least three moments where it felt really good.
[00:10:11] Just little moments. And that’s what you pointed to, Cathy. If I had rushed through my shower. it would have drawn my tank down. Now, I have sufficient capacity that if I had drawn my tank down and drawn my tank down and rushed down and got the thing and not let my daughter kiss me um, goodnight before the workshop, uh, you know, I, I could still come and do this and it’d be fine.
[00:10:47] As I look at the sequence of un rushed ness and what I, what energy I got from it, that’s still in my, in me, like her, she came over here, she hugged my leg, she kissed my knee. Goodnight, dadda, love you. And in her un, un rushed way, left the, the office here. And if I had been rushed, even if she had done exactly the same thing and been in exactly the same space.
[00:11:19] It would have been a distraction, a depletion, an interruption, rather than, what a good thriving life. Yeah, and then she probably would have noticed that too. Like she, there probably would have been a dissatisfaction on both sides, like, huh, I wanted to connect, didn’t really connect. And I don’t know about you, but growing up, I was very sensitive to when people were impatient with me, or frustrated with me, and I was like, I don’t know.
[00:11:46] What did I do wrong? I just wanted to say good night. Like, I think it’s a gift when we can just be present with someone and just let, you know, like, breathe for that moment and let the rushness not carry us away. Because that kid, that, she has this another place where she has a firm foundation of love and being received and appreciated.
[00:12:06] And I think a lot of us could have used way more of those growing up. Right. And part of my thriving lifestyle is I, I want fullness. I want the option to do many things and even to have times where, um, it will re it will ask of us a level of focused, clear action, step by step by step by step at that pace, like step by step by step by step by step by step by step.
[00:12:33] There’s nothing that’s incompatible with moving your baby steps pretty quickly. Um, and it’s where. Even if even if things aren’t moving forward and you shift into rushed it actually in my experience in my my frame of reference, you end up going slower. I use the example in the newsletter of the. The guy who zoomed around me and a few minutes later after I got off the exit, there he is behind his delivery truck, exuding stress.
[00:13:16] You know, being empathetic, you can pick up a lot of things out there in the world. And, you know, maybe, uh, he gets to his work on time, you know, or just a couple minutes late. Um, maybe. Um, in that respect, he’s faster, but here’s the thing. If I look at the whole ecosystem of his, of, of that person’s life, I imagine that processing the stress and strain of just that drive will demand of every cell in his body and all of his systems, a lot of, of life force, life force that He’ll either need to invest and take the time or downstream can lead to disease and other things.
[00:14:19] Um, and that’s the part of the, the go fast when looked at, like, how are we growing and what are we building if we rush through, um, and then we have to like, Oh, I forgot. And you have to drive back home and then go back. I think we’ve all had the experience of rushing and knowing that in retrospect that it took us a lot more time.
[00:14:50] And yet the skill really is that we, um, it’s essential that we have something that lands for us. And for me, the word unrushed, unrushed, um,
[00:15:07] what would it like, what would it be like to be unrushed here? Oh, time pressure changes to time awareness. I’m still competent about time. It’s not like, Oh, I’m going to forget the time. I’m going to forget. Like, no. Well, and if you’re really worried, you just, I’ve been taking to setting alarms because I’ve been trying to be much more mindful of what I’m doing.
[00:15:29] I’m not used to adjusting the time for that. I just tell my phone or whatever, please set an alarm for me so that I can, so I can adjust, you know, I can be reminded a few minutes before, so I’m not like, Oh wait, I was supposed to be someplace 10 minutes ago. So we can set reminders and helpful help for us ourselves.
[00:15:47] Um, and I just, I’d like to invite, if you’re listening to this and you notice things coming up. Some yeah, but some resistance, some thoughts of that works for you, but not for me. I’d love if you’re willing to share them in the chat, that can be a really great way. Cause when we get them out of our head and on paper, or we’re out in front of us, it gives us a certain power that we don’t have when we’re lost in our head.
[00:16:11] Like things spin. Um, And if you notice, like, when Rick paused and just thought about things, if there was part of you going, Come on, come on, I have things to do, I have places to go. Just notice how your body feels when you get really present with the rush versus the moment. So I think, you think about Rick in his shower, he could have spent the whole time getting showered as, Oh my god, I’m late, I’m late, I’m, I have to hurry, I have to rush.
[00:16:36] His mind, his attention and awareness could have been on the rushness. the lack of time, or, as he did, he could like, oh, I’m going to be present with the water in my body and what my, my system, my being needs as I go through this. And I think so many of us spend, I’m fingers pointing back at me for sure, spend decades of our lives being rushed.
[00:17:00] When it’s not actually changing that much, the rushness, I think for me was often, I didn’t know how to be with myself. I had unresolved traumas that I hadn’t healed, and so it was hard to be, to, to, I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. Um, I was also felt inadequate, so I, I didn’t, I had to do more to try to make up for it.
[00:17:23] There’s a lot of reasons we rush. We’re modeled that from infancy, and we’ll talk a little more about that. I don’t know where this all comes from, but if you can, notice the thoughts that come up when you think about going a little slower. Oh my god, I can’t, like, or notice the feelings, the sensations in your bodies if there’s not particular thoughts coming up.
[00:17:42] Because it’s really powerful. And can we just do a little tapping? I’m just going a little slower. All right. So I invite you to take a nice slow breath. If you can
[00:17:57] see if you can come back to your body, you’re here. And now it’s kind of like living meditation. We can be conscious of all our thoughts on the to do list, or we can come back here and now listen to my voice, to Rick’s voice, be present in this room, feel your butt in the chair, your feet on the floor.
[00:18:15] Another gentle breath. Karate chop. Even though I have a lot of training in being rushed.
[00:18:26] Even though I have extensive training in being rushed. And a master’s degree in feeling behind. And a master’s degree in feeling behind. And I multitask all the time. And I multitask all the time. For these next few minutes, I choose to be present with this tapping.
[00:18:53] For these next few minutes, I choose to be present with this tapping. I get to feel my fingers tap my hand.
[00:19:04] I get to feel my fingers tap my hand. Top of the head. I can feel my voice vibrate, vibrating in my body. I can feel my voice vibrate in my body. Eyebrow. And my body has gotten pretty addictive to adrenaline and cortisol. Yeah, my body is still pretty addicted to adrenaline and cortisol. Side of the eye.
[00:19:31] And my mind wants to rush. My mind likes to move fast. Likes to rush. Part of it. Part of it. Under the eye, and I can just bring myself back to this moment right here and now. And I can bring myself back to this moment here and now. Under the nose, there’s a lot of wisdom for me right here and now. There’s a lot of wisdom here for me here and now.
[00:20:01] And if I’m rushing, I might miss it. And if I’m rushing, I will miss it. Collarbone, it does feel kind of uncomfortable to slow down. Feels kind of uncomfortable to slow down. Under the arm, and that’s just part of learning something new. And that is part of learning something new. Top of that, I choose to slow down and be here with me now.
[00:20:28] I choose to slow down and be here with me now. Just take a breath. And if stuff comes up for you, great. Notice it. Write it down. Share it in the chat if you’d like, because we can, if you share things in the chat with us, we can gear some tapping around it. So just notice how you feel at the thought of slowing down.
[00:20:51] It doesn’t mean, we don’t have to immediately say, I’m gonna do this 24 7 from now on. Like, I’ve been working on this for five some years, and I still can really, I’m like, oh, I’m Wait, I forgot. I can slow down again, so it’s, it’s okay to, you know, come back to it like meditation. Oh, I’m thinking about my grocery list.
[00:21:10] I’m going to come back to here and now. Oh, I forgot to take out the trash. Oh wait, here and now. Oh, Rick’s birthday is next week. Here and now. So like we can just, it’s just practice. Each time is a chance to flex the muscles.
[00:21:26] So you need to put it in the,
[00:21:34] I want to, I want to, again, in the practice, in the skill of this, it’s the yes, but it with tapping, it’s an emotional technology and just like. You prompt yourself with
[00:21:55] low down or unrushed. What comes up for you? Now, I did a lot of tapping when I started, um, when I started adopting this as a state of being unrushed, not a state of doing, but a state of being unrushed, what would come up with for me? So I was. Getting the family ready. And I started noticing that I was getting activated.
[00:22:24] Um, I was starting to feel rushed, pressured, time pressured, and I would go unrushed and the yes, but, but we’ll be late, we’ll never get it done. Those are two yes, buts. And so when those come up, if you’re in a place where you can, or even after the fact at home, you can. Take an unrushed moment and go, even though a part of me is convinced I’ll be late.
[00:22:53] Even though a part of me is convinced I’ll be late. Because I have to push myself to be there on time, don’t I? Because I have to push myself to be there on time, don’t I? What would it like to be, what would it be like to be unrushed? What would it be like to be unrushed? And still moving at the same pace.
[00:23:17] And still moving at the same pace. Top of the head. I start feeling rushed. I start feeling rushed. Eyebrow. It’s where I go to when I’m, when I don’t want to be late. It’s where I go to when I don’t want to be late. Eye to the eye. I start rushing. I start rushing. Under the eye. Does that really work great for me?
[00:23:40] Does that really work great for me? Do I always have my keys in my hand? Do I always have my keys in my hand? Do I always remember everything? Do I always remember everything? Am I always on time? Am I always on time? Do I enjoy the trip? I enjoy the trip. Is it really working that well for me? Is it really working that well for me?
[00:24:06] What if I could be unrushed? What if I could be unrushed? And still move with decisive clarity? And still move with decisive clarity.
[00:24:22] So there’s that. We know, by looking at how the brain functions, if you’re rushed, the way the nervous system is working is that there’s, you go from stimulus to reaction. Stimulus reaction. Stimulus reaction. Stimulus reaction. The, the, Reaction time when we’re rushed, we’re up in our perimeter, the perimeter brain is really busy parts of our brain light up and there’s very little gap between stimulus and reaction.
[00:24:59] Oh, I got to do this. I got to do that. You have a thought. I’ve got to go get my keys. I got to go get the water. We forgot this. You know, there’s, there’s the executive function. Is reduced to very narrow, strategic, do this, do this, do this, do this. We get narrow. We don’t see the whole picture. Um, our intuition.
[00:25:25] Sorry. Pretty shut out. I’m not going to be really active about, like, adapting and making other choices. Um, Unrushed comes from a different place. Unrushed is, ah, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go collect my things. Oh, uh, one of the kids has to go to the bathroom. I can have some other things happening while that’s going on.
[00:25:56] Um, There’s an adaptability, a, a resiliency, a responsiveness because the energetic is stimulus response, stimulus response. Now I’m extending the time in an unrushed way, stimulus response. Notice that that’s different from this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. And that, and do this, and that, and we get it, we get it, we’ve all been there, we’ve all done that, and the skill is knowing that, oh, Unrushed is asking, inviting, and, and coaching, and deciding.
[00:26:54] I want at least a, huh, between stimulus and my, my response,
[00:27:04] including the stimulus of my body going, do we need to race? Is this a threat? Is our, is our, is our, are we going to be ashamed and embarrassed? Like is, is our, is our status on the, on the line here? Um, and when we, when we’re up in that range and operating from there. Uh, we’re, that’s not the frame of reference that I consider it thriving.
[00:27:32] Thriving is a place where we have freedom, emotional freedom, freedom to choose a response. Maybe there’s only one response that will, would ever feel right for you, but you have a sense that, oh, I’m responding. I’m responding. I’m responding rather than reacting. I think for me, I just talking about being on time was a big deal for me.
[00:27:56] I always felt weird if I was too early and I was, I was horribly embarrassed if I was even a minute late, I would really struggle. I could arrive two minutes early, but not more because then that would embarrass them. But, or I would seem like stalkerish or something. I had all these stories in my head about it and I would stress myself the entire way there.
[00:28:15] Like. Oh, I’m a little ahead. Oh, I need to slow down. Oh wait, now there’s traffic. I need to speed up. The whole time was like trying to navigate this thing when the truth was most people don’t care. Like it’s different if you’re like someone’s doing the world premiere or something, or you have a really strict boss at work.
[00:28:32] But for most of us, it’s like, as long as we tell someone, Hey, I, you know, pull over to the side of the road and text, you know, traffic’s bad. I’m going to be five or 10 minutes late, just letting you know, most people are fine with that. So the amount of stress and adrenaline I was pouring into something that didn’t actually matter was huge.
[00:28:49] And I think that part of that is other people’s agenda. A lot of us are running around, our lists, our to do list is long, we’re stressing ourselves because of either tasks other people have assigned us, or things we’ve learned through media and from our parents, or whatever, that are very important for status and survival, we’re pretending to have all this stuff together.
[00:29:11] I’m pretending I can do all this stuff and still not be exhausted at the end of the day. I’m pretending that my ha my living room’s never messy. Like, I have to, like, juggle a lot to pretend that, versus, you know what? My living room was messy yesterday and I sat on the couch and I just gave myself some space to just figure out what this being that I am wanting to do.
[00:29:33] And it kind of wanted a nice clean room living room. And so I got up and just, I was with myself and I’m like, Oh, I think it’d be nice if these couple of things are put away. Oh, I can take the dishes, the empty dishes to the sink. And. It was honestly five minutes later, the living room looked fine, versus if it had been on my to do list, it would have been like, kind of beating myself up, and it would have taken much more time.
[00:29:57] So it’s like, I think taking it off of other people’s agenda and like, oh, for myself, for me, I would like the living room clean, versus my mother would be horrified, and my grandmother would yell, and what if the neighbors come over? The neighbors never come over. They never come to my house. So why am I trying to make an impression on these people that never show up?
[00:30:17] My mother lives on the East coast. My grandmother, bless her heart, has passed away. Like, who am I cleaning for? Am I cleaning for me or am I cleaning for the others that kind of haunt my brain sometimes? Do you want to leave the chat? It looks like you’re inspired. Yeah, I’m, this is what I do is when I hear something that, that lands, uh, my mother was just here for the.
[00:30:45] And, um, someone mentioned in, in the chat that they, uh, burned out in high school for years of rush of being an empath and a highly sensitive person feeling everyone else’s rush along with my own. And that is a loop like we’re, we’re sensitive. And until we learn the skill of, oh, this is something that I could mirror.
[00:31:11] Um, but it’s actually dysregulating for me and that’s it. My, my health and care goes out the window when I rush and I ignore my body when pressured. We’re designed to. That’s what the primitive brain says. If a tiger’s chasing you, you’re supposed to ignore the fact that you’re tired and keep running because otherwise you’ll get eaten.
[00:31:31] Yeah. And the last place we want to stay forever is high school. Um, so there was a lot of like panic and fear, uh, come with rush. And I’ve been working on being more conscious of the habit to push rush myself and making slow and easy self care a priority. It’s not laziness, but love. See, that’s like, That’s one of those yes, but thank you so much because it’s not laziness, but and the yes, but is Oh, if I do this, it’s lazy.
[00:32:03] That’s what, what we can use this technology EFT tapping to go like, you know, they would have thought it was lazy. They would have thought it was lazy. They were in survival mode. They were in survival mode. Eyebrow. I’ve spent a lot of time in survival mode. I spent a lot of time in survival mode. Eye to the eye.
[00:32:25] And I really want to be thriving. And I really want to be thriving. I want to build my thriving lifestyle. I want to build my thriving lifestyle. And Rush is pretty incompatible. And Rush is pretty incompatible. It doesn’t really work for me. It does not really work for me. I want to be in touch with my body.
[00:32:50] I want to be in touch with my body. I want to feel the goodness in my life. I want to feel the goodness in my life. Not rush past it. Not rush past it. I’m trying, I’m trying on feeling of being unrushed. I’m trying on the feeling of being unrushed.
[00:33:27] And there’s nothing wrong if you, oh sorry, you were. I was trying on the feeling of being unrushed, um, which means that Even in a workshop with people here that, um, unrushed says to me that
[00:33:49] it’s useful for me to get my clarity tap into deeper direction to reconnect with and reground with what matters to me. What do I really want? What is this time together? Um, more and if you’ve been in one of our other workshops, you know that Cathy and I are high bandwidth like we’re we can be really fiber optic.
[00:34:25] I’ve been I love that. It’s part of our intention. And it’s really cool to see how many people go back and they’ll revisit a workshop months later and be like, Wow, I picked up that and I picked up that and I picked up that and then visit visited again a year later. And, oh, I love putting a lot of juicy nuggets and and and notions in it that works.
[00:34:56] If we’re unrushed. It works when we’re in a dance that can be, um, really dynamic. Um, there can be a lot that is in that connection, but as soon as, if I start rushing, I’m not tracking you all. So yeah, one of the things about being empathic and highly sensitive combined with the skill is am I tracking the people that are connected to me, that matter to me?
[00:35:33] Okay. Oh, they’re feeling rushed. Or they’re feeling, what?
[00:35:42] They might be feeling challenged. Like, this is a challenge. So, like, I pick up that. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll be someone on the recording. But, like, I’m gonna tap. This is a challenge. This is a challenge. Hi, Rob. Just get in my car. I’m surrounded by rushing people. Just get in my car. I’m surrounded by rushing people.
[00:36:01] It’s rush hour. It’s rush hour. That lasts for four hours. That lasts for four hours. Everyone’s rushing. Everyone’s rushing. What if it was Unrush Hour? What if it was Unrush Hour? We were generous and kind with one another. And we were generous and kind with one another. Would we all get there faster? Would we all get there faster?
[00:36:28] Eh, I can’t control that. I can’t control that. But I can bring it close to home. I can bring it close to home. And tune myself. And tune, tune to myself. So that’s, that’s one of the things, is that. Oh, I’m getting this rushed feeling. Um, do I mirror it? Do I, do I start mirroring it? And, um, the gift, the primitive gift of empathy is that we can mirror and pace and other, the, the other people around us.
[00:37:05] That’s a, it’s a, it’s an amazing gift. Um, and for thriving, we take that gift and we upgrade it with, a pause and an awareness that says, Hey, um, yeah, I feel, I feel my mother’s rushness, right? She feels rushed, pressured. Okay. Now, instead of trying to counter that, like, Oh, I’m going to be the opposite. I’m going to rebel against that rushness and become all kind of, um, Which, which we can also do, um, kids can certainly do.
[00:37:43] Um, to me, the, the skill of dropping into, I’m. I’m going to slow down my energy so that I’m in an unrushed state of being. And then I will feel into what to say, how to be, where to, where to move. Um, the first step sometimes is like, ah, everyone else is feeling rushed. I’m going to go and leave the room.
[00:38:17] Great. That is taking a nice, clean space, giving yourself some distance, a little less empathetic, um. uh, enmeshment. It’s like, oh, okay. And this, and, and for me, the skill has been, um, okay, I’m going to calm and, and, and clear, be clear about what matters to me here. With my mom. It was, I, I’m clear. I, I want to just be with her, be with my brother.
[00:38:53] I was clear that There’s nothing that was a half to change plans, change times, change things like that, but in the unrushed practice, it’s very, it’s, it ends up being surprisingly adaptable. And when I talk about going fast, it’s not the to do list. We went much.
[00:39:23] The connection became, um, deeper and clearer and more, more present, far faster because of this practice. Then it would have been if I was trying to like quiet her, um, her time pressure or other things. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. And it’s very hard to solve someone else’s time pressure. Trying to actually can make them worse.
[00:39:57] It’s like, no, you’re not understanding the issue. And someone shared after living in the past for the past couple of years with a beloved family member who recently died. I feel as though I’m finally able to start unwinding. Soaking up so much of our anxiety, fear, and anger put me in a constant state of being on alert.
[00:40:14] When we’re around other people that are on alert, our survival brain is like, they must be seeing something we don’t. I’m don’t. I need to be on alert too. It’s just natural resonance because if we’re a herd of antelope on the hillside and once Get spooked because he saw a lion and we don’t all spook and run, then some of us are lion food.
[00:40:35] So it’s built into our DNA, basically. And so if we have someone around us, that’s very high anxiety, high pressure time, it can take extra muscles to just like, I’m going to be with you while you’re in the anxiety. And I’m going to try to keep my state regulated and not, I don’t need to join you. It’s not going to help you.
[00:40:57] And I may need to train, train myself to not go into that state, um, and trying to convince the other person that they can’t, that they don’t need to rush is just, it usually backfires because they’ll just amp it up because you’re not understanding and they’re trying to get you to understand how dangerous and threatening the world is and how much you have to try harder.
[00:41:19] So, um, can we do a little tapping on that? So I invite you to just take a nice deep breath. I imagine a few of us have people like this in our lives, whether it’s a boss or a mother or somebody, karate chop. Even though it’s hard to be calm when they’re anxious.
[00:41:41] Even though it’s hard to be calm when they are anxious. And boy are they anxious. And boy are they anxious. They are rushed all the time. Rushed all the time. How am I supposed to be calm? How am I supposed to be calm? Hmm, maybe it’s a good chance for me to exercise some muscles. Maybe it’s a good chance for me to exercise some muscle.
[00:42:08] Top of that, hey primitive brain. Hey primitive brain. I wrote, I know that they’re scared. I know that they’re scared. Side of the eye, but we’ve thoroughly looked through the bushes. We’ve thoroughly looked through the bushes. Under the eye, and there is no lion. There’s no lion. Under the nose, in fact, they have a history of spooking at nothing.
[00:42:32] And they have a history of spooking at nothing. Chin. I can consider what they say. I can consider what they say. And they’re fine. Collarbone. Yeah. Collarbone. And then I can allow my system to relax. That I could allow my system to relax. One exam, it may take a little practice. I’m pretty sure this is going to take practice.
[00:42:59] A lifetime. Top of the head. And I bet it would feel really good. And I bet it would feel really good. And just take a breath. And I do think this is something that we get better at over time. Like when I would first deal with my mother, my mother, someone who’s very high anxiety, high worry, you know, gloom and doom, something bad’s going to happen imminently.
[00:43:24] I could stay grounded for a moment at a time. And then I would have to go to the restroom or wash a dish or something. And now I can pretty much. get through an hour and a half call without calling Rick and going, Oh my God, that was a lot. So it’s, it built, we can build up stamina and I found that she is now starting to calm in my space.
[00:43:45] Because I don’t follow her. Because if she’s ramped up and then I get ramped up, we’re kind of feeding off or resonating off each other. Versus if she’s all ramped up and I’m staying grounded and calm and present with her. I’m not denying what she’s doing or trying to convince her of anything else. I’m just being with her.
[00:44:01] She seems to calm down. So I think that people will, we can ground each other. We can help each other, uh, find a calmer resonance, but verbally trying to convince somebody different is not going to help. It’s more, we get to role model. Hey, I’m okay. I’m going to be here with myself and I’m going to be here with you and I’m not going to.
[00:44:24] Try to push reality. I think rushing and trying to constrain time, like, in a way, it’s pushing reality. I want to fit in more than will fit. I want to do more than my energy allows, so I’m going to use adrenaline to push myself to make something work that doesn’t really work in my flow. Does that make sense?
[00:44:43] It does.
[00:44:48] There’s so many opportunities to practice this. Yes.
[00:44:56] And I will. My own personal testimony is that. this word unrushed,
[00:45:10] it’s, uh, even in just the three or four or five months, um, that I’ve been having that as a go to state. It’s actually, it’s a reminder, like the work that we’ve done at calming and confidencing, that’s the yin yang. It’s like, okay, there’s noise, I quiet it, I strengthen, I, I, I bring up my qi too, like, What’s next?
[00:45:47] Get into my body. Calming my, my energy and boosting it. That’s calming. And conferencing. We’ve done work on that. There’s lots of workshops that we’ve done. If you just look for that in the, um, the center Thriving Now do center and you’ll see ones on calm and confident. Um, settling and strengthening again, kind of a yin yang.
[00:46:13] I settle, let the ener, my energy settle, kinda like. If you get shaken up, let it settle. And then you strengthen, you strengthen so that you’re, you’ve got that Chi that feels like it’s got some form to it, you’re going into, I settle down. I find, I know what matters to me. And I can take an action to build, to build toward, to build with, to co create with.
[00:46:41] And if I have an anxious person or, um, someone who is really intensely disappointed, I know that the energy of that is not as juicy, easy as, Oh yeah, there’s agreeableness in the air. No, sometimes there’s a lot of disagreeable Ness in the air. Well, what do I want to do? Well, I want to be unrushed. Um, settle myself, strengthen what I know that matters and take action clear and focused action toward that.
[00:47:15] Um, when we come back from our seven minute break, I’d like to To to move our energy or how can we use this around things that we want to build specific things in our life? Um, it could be an emotional experience or a connection that you have. It could be that you want to be building, um, community or connections, uh, for business.
[00:47:40] So as we take this break, we’ll be back in seven minutes. If there’s anything you want to share in the chat, please do. If not, Cathy and I will speak from our experience with ourselves and with our clients, uh, on some specific ways that we can, we can use this slow down to go fast. All right. Love it.
[00:48:06] Welcome back. Someone, someone shared in the chat, there’s a lot of hurry up and get over it, a rush to move on when struggling, like there’s not enough time to consider and acknowledge how we’re feeling. I want to be fully embodied and take the time to understand my emotions. That is where I can slow down and allow space more often to grow and learn more about myself.
[00:48:34] And that’s why we do these workshops, there’s so much wisdom in there. There’s an acknowledgement, which I feel is essential when we’re noticing about our own energy and wanting to craft how we interact with ourselves and our own energy and the energy of others that, um, yeah, hurry up and, and get over it.
[00:48:58] You know, I think about how ill equipped a lot of. You know, humans are to handle big feelings or, uh, conflict or unmet needs, even if you know, they’re not responsible for it. Sometimes even just sharing it, they’re like, you rushed past this, you know, let’s get over this. How are you just, you just need to do that.
[00:49:25] And they’ll flip something out. Um, that feels rushed. It feels like. There’s not a presence. And if we’re going to have that for ourselves and in community here, acknowledging that, okay, just like there are people who are anxious and rushed and busy, and that’s part of their energetic world, there are also people that will try to rush past our emotions or our trauma and things like that.
[00:49:57] And there are also people that are really being coming more and more Capable and attuned to being able to hold, hold space for that as someone, as, as you said, it’s having that space to slow down and allow ourselves that
[00:50:20] when we do that, when I look at time and the cultivation of a thriving life. It’s like taking the time to, you know, get the rocks out of the field and plow the field and spread some, you know, horse manure on the field and, um, and plant the seeds and cultivate them. We’re, if we want root trees downstream, we are actually going to get them faster if we are unrushed about that process.
[00:51:02] I’ve noticed that a lot for my own healing. I had a, even with talented therapists and coaches, some of them, I felt rushed by the process of doing my own healing of trauma. And I kind of got in the pattern of like, Oh, I need to push through this quickly versus I found the deepest healing is when I’m just.
[00:51:21] I allow myself to be quiet and I have support, someone I can, I can face it with, um, and just be with the feeling and not try to make it different or like when I just allow it to be and do a little tapping, it changes far faster than if I’m trying to push it to do something different. Um, and I think for, I don’t think enough people allow the space for themselves or for clients to actually experience it.
[00:51:49] Like, none of us want to feel the bad feelings, but if we can be with them and acknowledge them, they tend to pass really, really quite quickly. Um, and when we’re trying, I think some, there were some that I kind of rushed over in my early years of healing before I knew about EFT or tapping, and I’m actually going back and revisiting some of that now because it’s like, oh, it’s pretty, you know, partially healed and it’s conscious, but there’s still, you know, Some angst or some pain there that I don’t want to carry around for the rest of my life.
[00:52:18] I don’t want to react to anymore. So I love the fact that we can if we’re we’re doing good self care A lot of that is like can I can I be doing this for this being than I am? Versus trying to please other people or get to get better at a certain rate or fast or it’s not a destination, this is actually the work as we do it right now, you’re doing this work as you’re with us being present.
[00:52:48] Rick and I are present and grounded. Your system is your mirror neurons are learning from the way we’re talking from the expressions on our face from the energy around us. And as you. doing this as well, your survival brain is like, Oh, this might be safe to do. You’re learning to ground. And if you can give yourself the breath and the space.
[00:53:11] This is something I’ve been doing recently. It was not anything I even realized was useful before, but I will I will When I have a stretch of time now, instead of like jumping to my to do list and trying to knock out as much as I can that’s urgent and I feel behind on this person might be mad because I didn’t do it, I’m just going, I’m sitting quietly for a few minutes and I’m inviting my being, the me that’s there, to to What would I like to do right now?
[00:53:38] Not my to do list. And it takes, it was some effort to just like, Oh, but I have to do this, this and this, and sometimes there are things I have to knock out, but I’m trying to give myself time each day where I can just, even if it’s 20 minutes, like, what do I want to do? Do I just want to sit and breathe?
[00:53:53] I’ve been really loving, just watching the light coming through the curtains and the, and the birds singing outside, or, you know, do I want to sit on the back porch and, and, you know, Just breathe or do I want to the other day I was cleaning my living room just because it felt right for me but instead of building off Driving myself with the to do list like it’s a gps that I have to follow as fast and as hard as I can Giving myself some time to just like what is it this that this being wants to experience right this minute Is it quiet?
[00:54:26] Is it? Energy, is it do I want to watch TV? It, there’s not really a limit, but I try to make it about what’s right for me and fulfilling in the moment rather than what I think other people would say, or I should do, or I’m completing a task list. And I invite you to give that a try a little bit because it’s remarkably challenging, but so fulfilling when I get on it.
[00:54:47] It’s like, Oh, that felt so lovely. I wonder why I haven’t been doing this for 56 years. As
[00:55:01] I’ve been, um, getting responses from people that, um, I’ve been inviting, um, people, including those that have attended or signed up for the workshop here, could you tell me about what you’re yearning to build? And There’s a, an interesting dynamic that I think fits this oftentimes, uh, as somebody who’s built multiple businesses and done a lot of co creating as well.
[00:55:31] There’s an interesting dynamic. I, I worked for nine years as the chief technology officer for a company. And the strategy the CEO had was to take something and ridiculously compress the time. So something that, um, unrushed, but really competent and capable, um, would get done in He would want in 10 days and he would, he would, he would legit be disappointed because in his fantasy, that’s how much what was interesting as the more that we pressured our team to meet some deadline, but we’ve got this trade show in 11 days.
[00:56:38] One of the things I noticed is that legitimately it would take longer than three weeks. We might have a deliverable to get it done, but the actual scope of what we set out, the thing that really would have made the, made it right, would feel good. We were aligned and congruent with, instead of that happening in three weeks, it would happen in four or five or six.
[00:57:12] How does this apply when we have our own lifestyle that we’re. We’re working on. Well, let’s take physical, something physical. Um, let’s say that you want to get stronger and you, you tap into the go, go, go group. Right. Um, They’re talking about the 10 day challenge, right? They’re, you know, the 30 day to a new body.
[00:57:41] Um, I am humble enough to recognize that. Yeah. I am not that person and there likely are people that that’s exactly what is the right pace for them and the right energy for where they are in their life. If that isn’t you and you’ve tried on some of these like intensives and the like, and it just hasn’t worked for you, noticing that and then looking at, well, My antidote to that is, well, what would it look like if I had four years, four years to re craft, re sculpt, re energize my body?
[00:58:31] What would that be like? Now, one of the interesting things is that when you look at that, your intuition can point to something that if you go slow now, you’re building a foundation that And hold you as it grows. Well, you can also build in pleasure and enjoyment and mindfulness versus I’m going to drive myself with adrenaline.
[00:59:06] I now look forward to my workouts and I didn’t, I used to dread them. And now it’s like, Oh, this is going to feel my muscles like moving. So yeah, I can totally relate. Well, and, and I’ve noticed that you have been unrushed. I don’t know what your inner experience has been, but my experience has really been as you reflected like, Oh, I got to I got to do this today.
[00:59:30] And, you know, instead of like driving the metrics as fast as they could go, oh, I got a half, I got an extra half mile, uh, this week, and I’m going to do an extra mile next week. I’m going to do two miles the next week. I can get caught up in that for sure, but I’m less and less because I see it backfires.
[00:59:49] I’ll push myself. That’s my, that’s the point. And then I hurt my knee again, and then I can’t work out for three weeks and then I’m back a month. So as opposed to if I just keep it slow and steady and listen to my body, I’m, I’m working with my body for once instead of forcing it and punishing it and trying to make it better.
[01:00:08] I’m like, body, does this feel good? Okay, that feels scary. Let’s take it half of like, how can we modify this? How can we, can we do half as many? And then I’m. surprised how quickly it moves forward with confidence and enjoyment versus, oh my God, dread and anxiety built in. Exactly. And if we look at physical vitality, um, You know, my, my mom is pushing and I get it.
[01:00:35] She’s lost because of a surgery. She had a, she’s mostly bionic. Most of her joints are not original factory equipment. And, you know, she wasn’t able to go to the gym. She usually goes five days a week and that was not rushing it. But now she feels a pressure. And the challenge is that I recognize. That when, when, when people in my lineage Bush, they end up getting injured and then there’s this recovery period.
[01:01:10] And so when I think, when I thought, well, what would it look like? If I start going to the gym in an unrushed way, and it was start with a ridiculously low amount of weight and do 11 reps. So here I am, I’m, I’m a six foot tall dude, and I’m, I’m lifting the lowest weight and I do that for, I thought I’d, I’ll do it for a week.
[01:01:42] My body goes, we’re not in a rush. I did it for another three weeks. I did it for two months. And then my body was like, You know, it would feel good to like add a plate. And what I noticed is that I was building a foundation in my connective tissue, in my joints. And if there was a injury, it was very minor and I’ve tried to lift weights so many times and I’ve always pushed it too fast, too hard, because that’s the thing.
[01:02:16] You lift weight to failure. Well, guess what? I’m strong enough that my muscles don’t fail in that process. My connective tissue then hyper reacts and I got interesting that muscle tissue regenerates a third, three times faster than connective tissue. So if in a month you built up your strength a lot, it takes three months for your connective tissue to adjust to that, that increase in strength.
[01:02:44] So I just say way that guess what nerves are even slower. So if, if as part of your mobility, you’re moving nerves in ways that they’re not used to, they heal about a millimeter, uh, a day. Um, And there’s a lot of millimeters between my, my brain and the end of my fingers. Um, physical vitality, if part of your thriving lifestyle is you want to have physical vitality, think about like as four years, what would be ridiculously unrushed?
[01:03:21] Now, why do I say ridiculously? Because that’s to counter all of the propaganda that has hit people that are looking for the quick fix. They want to rush through it and get their reward. They want to get the status. They want to get the partner. They want to get the sex appeal. Oh, well, all I have to do is inject this stuff in my arms.
[01:03:50] And now I’ve got these big honking arms that, that look really. weird and it’s dangerous and a lot of other things. Um,
[01:04:03] so if you have that kind of listening, deep listening, then you can adapt too. You can drop, as Cathy said, you know, you, you learn to drop it down even by half because you know what you’re listening to your body at a deep level, you’re building a foundation of vitality. Um, Looking at that as a continuum for decades out, that to me is the thriving, um, that long term time preference.
[01:04:37] If you can drop in, even in a meditation, and not just to create the end vision, but hey, I want this vitality, and along the way, over the next decade, I also want to savor and experience what that is like, like the little increases, the, the, the, the moments of I’m feeling good. I feel alive. I feel alive right now.
[01:05:06] I went for a really, I do morning miles. This is, This was day one thousand three hundred and nine. Wonderful. Congratulations. A mile is not that far for me. I have a long stride. It doesn’t take a lot of time. But I built up with the, you know, if a day comes and I just, the morning mile is a walk to my car and back, that’s fine.
[01:05:32] If the morning mile is a quarter mile, that’s fine. Today it was a mile and a half. It felt really good. It was yes to yes to yes to yes. I’ve added. Using hiking poles. Guess what that does. I am now a four four legged. Animals cruising, flying, floating, pushing. I can do all kinds of interesting things with it because I have enough vitality because I built that foundation.
[01:06:01] Same thing with business. If someone says, well, I need, you know, I need, I want to get this done in three months. That’s that reminds me of my CEO. Like I look at it and go, well, I love your vision. It’s inspiring, but I can feel the pressure. I can feel the pressure that you have on yourself. I need to make enough money so that I get to do this thing.
[01:06:25] And, uh, money’s a really obvious one. A lot of times people put pressure on themselves to make money in order to have an experience. And from a, from a skill standpoint, um, while there are some, some If you think about the experience of, uh, like big travel adventure or something like that, um, that may, the one that you have in mind may be very expensive.
[01:06:56] The cool thing is, is that if you look at it, like, oh, I make some money and some of it flows into my freedom fund. I made 10. I made a hundred dollars, 7 of that goes into my freedom fund, just 7%.
[01:07:18] I’m practicing the energy of adventure. I went to a, I went to a playground with the kids that I hadn’t gone to before. It was a fresh adventure. Oh, look, ah, Ooh. You know, like. It’s not the Mediterranean sailboat money for the Mediterranean sailboat with the family yet. And by being in that slowing down into the experience, I’m actually more attuned with less stress.
[01:07:53] With less, um, it’s an aspiration instead of being a longing. It’s one of the skills. I have to in order to. Aspiration and getting it into an aspiration. Well I think it can become a have to if we’re, it’s very easy in our society to get caught up in status and what other people think and they’re going to think less of me.
[01:08:16] I think. One of the reasons we’re often so busy at work is it makes us seem important and valued. Like you’re giving me so much to do, I’m like so valuable at the company. When most of us know corporate America, you’re as valuable as the company’s doing well, then the minute it’s not, there’s the door. You know, there’s not really that, um, buy in that there used to be sometimes.
[01:08:36] But when we’re trying to live up to other, oh, if I go on that Italian vacation, I am I, I’ve made it. Somehow I’ve, it proved something to me versus what experience can I have now in the moment that fulfills me, connects me with me, and those around me helps me feel more fulfilled, more alive. And I think that’s so important.
[01:08:59] When we’re evaluating based on other things, we tend to feel depleted and tired. And I still remember Rick actually came out here for a vacation. So exhausted from work, um, trying to get enough done so I can go on vacation. It was like three days into the vacation before I had enough energy to enjoy it.
[01:09:15] And then I got sick. Well, we both got sick, but like, I was so run down, I got really sick. And so like this vacation that I worked so hard to create, carve a place for in my busy schedule with someone I love so much, it was, I didn’t really get to enjoy it. And I’ve had wonderful times now with his family, where we just hung out at the house and went to playgrounds and, you know, the kids got to mess around with Aunt Cathy and have fun, and it was just very lovely.
[01:09:44] So, I think a lot of it is if we can start noticing what’s their agenda versus what’s my agenda. What they think I should do versus what actually fulfills me in this moment. Um, I’ve been getting so much more done just giving myself that space because I’m like, Oh, for my own peace of mind, I’d like to get that thing knocked off the, my, my list, because it’s kind of annoying at me.
[01:10:07] I know that person’s waiting for it, but it’s not this like, Oh, I’ve got to fulfill. It’s not this driven. It’s like, oh, I’m doing this for me because I, I gave my word to do it. I want it to be done, done. And it just feels I’m more aligned. I’m getting it done much more in an organized way. I’m not frantic or flustered.
[01:10:25] And I’m like, oh, that’s lovely. That’s off my, my list. And I’m getting things done earlier because I’m noticing that feels really good. Um, one of, I wanted to share this quote that I found, um, on, I thought this was really applicable because I think so many of us, when we’re rushing, we’re trying to do everything all we have to do everything really hard all the time.
[01:10:48] And this is from the Facebook group, compassionate reminders. They said, your best is what you can do without harming your mental and physical health. Not when you’re going to, not what you can accomplish when you disregard them, not what you 110 percent all the time. It’s like, Huh. My best is how can I do this task or this project that I’ve agreed to for work or for whatever, but I’m still going to honor my mental health needs, my physical health needs, my emotional health needs.
[01:11:20] Um, and it just really struck me because I had never taken that into account. It was like, Oh no, I’m going to just burn that up. It doesn’t matter if I’m not healthy as long as I got all this stuff done. Versus, Oh, I’m living this life. It’s me in this body. How can I enjoy it more versus how much, how much can I put out work wise or getting stuff done?
[01:11:41] And it was a big mental shift for me, but it’s been really beautiful. Um, and I don’t always hold on to it all the time. It’s, uh, again, like meditation. Oh, I’ve got it. Oh, wait, it’s gone. I’m making lists of, Oh, I’ll be walking this many miles in this long. Oh no, no, no, no. Stop. That doesn’t work. Come back to like, What feels good to my body right now?
[01:12:01] How can I take care of me? Um, so I think it’s just a continual practice of like, oh, and reminders like these kind of calls, other people you can meet and, and support each other with. Um, but the more we practice it, the more I think we can actually live our lives and enjoy our lives versus running through our lives to get the check mark, the gold star at the other end that you, oh, you got all that stuff done for what?
[01:12:27] You didn’t live your life. You weren’t there for it. You were there with their to do list, as opposed to your actual being and those around you. It goes to that foundation. Um, I,
[01:12:47] I want to honor that we’re, we’re exploring what a thriving lifestyle is for you and you and me and Cathy and others, and they’re going to look as diverse as humans are. But if, if I was looking at focusing my energy on a survival lifestyle. A lot of my energy would go, it wouldn’t go to doing a workshop like this.
[01:13:18] I’d probably be stocking my pantry for the, um, and I, I there’s, there’s a lot of survival wisdom in the world. We’re as a community, as, as I call us the freedom kin, uh, we’re exploring, Hey, if I crowd, if I’m trying to craft something that is sustainable, that I can steward for the long term. That there’s even this feeling like this takes me forward in my life in a way that it’s from yes to yes to yes to yes.
[01:13:58] That is very different. That is like, oh, if I feel like I have to harm my well being, um, in order to do this, is that true? Pause. Take a powerful pause. And look at it like, if I was unrushed to be moving in this direction, What’s my next? Yes. What’s what would be a yes for someone shared? What would be a yes for five minutes of physical?
[01:14:34] expression that might be a Horizontal reset where you just feel your body in Gravity, there’s not a whole lot of exercise. Probably not a lot of sweat either. It could be putting on that You know, that pink song is really calling to me. I’m going to put it on. I’m going to dance on the treadmill just for that song.
[01:15:00] It could be to, to go out on the trail with a notion that I am going to find a place that is calling and singing and nourishing me, and I’m going to pause there and I’m going to feel unrushed. To move on, or to go further, and what does that do for my, my qi? If we’re building a thriving lifestyle, it feels core to be aware of the emotions that you want as a part of your ecosystem.
[01:15:35] Savoring, for example, um,
[01:15:41] if you eat without ever savoring, oh boy, There are some really juicy, delicious experiences that you can have with exactly the same foods. If you savor them, you know, feel the readiness, um, difficult emails, um, a marketing challenge. Like I, I believe that if, if marketing feels like to you and your business, guess what I shared with someone that, yeah, I can feel your stress, strain, and fear around the energy of marketing, whatever that means to you is doesn’t feel good.
[01:16:24] Well, let’s look at reframe. The last workshop we did, we looked at reframes. What would you like to invite people? How would you like to invite people to engage with you? How would you like to respond to them? And if you find an invitation, you are marketing like it is part of marketing, but it may have something that feels more congruent.
[01:16:49] And that’s where if we slow down. This really does fit what you’ve been amplifying. You’re doing it for you. In essence, you’re saying, even if I’m building a WeSpace, a business or, um, a family or a community and, uh, whatever it is that you’re sharing with others, you’re come from. If you’re congruent with your come from rather than, Oh, well, I love to do this and this and this, but I hate this market, man.
[01:17:21] I got to do it. I don’t want a website, you know, whatever website means to you. If you go ahead and do it, you know, I’m just going to hire someone to do the website and then I’ll have a website. And they tell me I have to have a website. No, you don’t. You, I’ll say you don’t have to have a website and. We can look at crafting your energy if you’re willing to pause and unrush it and, and really explore, you know, this would feel good to me.
[01:17:52] This is a frame that works. This is where my energy aligns. And if I, if I’m not on this, um, drive to the finish or some milestone, some goal, uh, when I’m in it with consistency and clarity and energy and. And it’s feeling in you that this, yeah, this matters to me. These people matter to me. This work matters to me.
[01:18:19] If you’re in that, I believe the universe responds in a very different way. You’re rising into challenges rather than suffering through them. Yeah. And I think it’s important to notice that doesn’t mean we’re avoiding all bad feelings. It’s part of taking care of me means. Oh, I’m noticing there’s a feeling that I want to avoid.
[01:18:40] Can I be with it? Can I actually pay attention to what the need is behind the thing that I’ve learned to avoid all this time? So it’s not always just about going from, you know, pleasant to pleasant to pleasant. Sometimes it’s like, Oh, let me be with this thing that actually is what part of my, you know, like having this experience.
[01:18:56] So, um, but I think I love getting the guidance that comes from the Yeah. Contrast is beautiful. Uh, if we allow ourselves to be with it rather than bouncing off and running the other way. I’m gonna go to my to do list because that doesn’t feel good. Um, I really want to appreciate everyone who’s here tonight because just being around this testing and stretching your mind around it, it can open beautiful new doors and I hope that you find the experiences you’re looking for.
[01:19:30] Our inbox is open, support at thrivingnow. com comes to both Cathy and myself. We also have a community center. It’s free, thrivingnow. center. And we have a circle, group circle membership where we actually, we do interactive work with people. It’s not recorded. So we can go into more, more direct personal kinds of engagement, on that Emotional Freedom Circle – Thriving Now. , so thank you. Thank you all. And thank you, Cathy. Until next time bye
Replay is below
