Replay is below
Why call it a Sacred Decision? Read on…
Some decisions matter so much that they deserve deep consideration — without the analysis paralysis.
I used to get super stuck making important decisions. “This is important!!” Zing. Primitive brain engaged.
One morning I was arguing with Spirit about a decision, feeling conflicted, anxious, and distressed.
In my heart I heard/felt: “Yes, this is a Sacred Decision. It’s life altering, Life Affirming, but not life threatening.”
Ever noticed how easy it is to have a decision fall into this weird category where it feels 1000x more “important” than it is… but we’re not sure even WHY?
When I refer to a situation as calling for a Sacred Decision, I am inviting my heart into the conversation. I am taking time to feel what is in my gut. I’m recognizing that it is essential to quiet the noise of anxiety.
Getting clear about what matters — really matters — is core to the sacred decision-making process. What possibilities align with my spiritual values? Which support my thriving? Are there choices here that are fear-induced? Tap tap tap
Yes, sacred decisions are savvy about survival. But those are about 10% of the focus and options we reflect on. Choices based solely on survival do not activate our core power.
And yet… most people make decisions based on survival energy. Run from this, fight that, freeze in fear of making the ‘wrong’ choice.
Sacred Decision-making is a real skill. We’re convinced that for thriving, you will have decisions to make that can potently influence your lifestyle. So, we’re going to explore this skill on Sunday!
If it’s a YES, register now and join us at 5pm EDT on Sunday - remember the U.S. goes on daylight savings time that day (and also get the recording):
Replay is belowHosts: Rick Wilkes ~ Thriving Now and Cathy Vartuli ~ The Intimacy Dojo
If you’re new to tapping, we have a free EFT Tapping Course here.
Part of our Work That Matters is teaching sacred decisions and choice… even around money! So you don’t HAVE TO pay to attend. And, we all know that financial exchange remains essential to our work in this culture right now. If you can include $+ with your registration, THANK YOU!
Appreciate You! Our inbox is open!
With love,
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here
P.S. Adira says, “Decisions, Decisions… do I share these muffins with my baby or not?”
Yes, they are “important” decisions, but they are more than that.
“I have to make an IMPORTANT decision!”
Yeah, no stress in that, eh?
What I needed was a space where I recognized that, Yes, a decision would influence my thriving, while not escalating my fears and worries and self-doubt.
My heart knew what to do. It holds the guiding awareness of what truly matters to me, and it maintains an openness (even when I’m scared) to guidance beyond the brain.
Acknowledging that a sacred decision is called for activates a powerful pause for calming and confidencing. It recognizes that all aspects of my awareness (including the wise beings I’m connected to) can bring nuance and perspectives and empowering frames of reference that support freedom and choice.
Yes, it’s a skill. I’m getting better and better at it. Cathy, too. So we’d love for you to join us in this workshop to explore and refine this practice together.
Replay is belowAppreciate You! Our inbox is open!
With love,
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here
P.S. Adira says, “I know certain spots feel rock hard and cold. I find that sticking out your tongue helps decide what’s next. I’m teaching my Da-Da!”
My first Skillset class - amazing! I didn’t expect such sensitivity, support, and kindness. I can’t wait for the next one.
We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]
A sacred decision is a meaningful choice grounded in what truly matters to you deep down. It involves quieting the noise, tuning into your heart, gut, and inner wisdom, and choosing a path that aligns with your core values.
When facing a decision, pause and ask yourself what’s most important - what would help you feel more solid, confident, grounded, thriving and free? Connect to the intelligence within you rather than just analyzing with your head.
Notice any rigid “scripts” or expectations for how a decision should play out. Release attachment to a specific outcome and instead focus on aligning with your values. The universe may have even better plans in store!
It’s okay if things don’t go perfectly after a decision. You can course correct as needed. The key is making choices based on your authentic self rather than external pressures or reactive impulses.
Tap into the support of the universe, asking for gentle guidance and clear signs to light your path forward, especially when facing challenging transitions. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Remember that opportunities come around many times in different forms, like a friendly persistent cat. An apparent “missed” opportunity may be leading you somewhere even better.
Build a foundation of small positive habits that align with your sacred decisions, like a morning walk to support vitality. Communicate to others why it matters to you.
Practice an unrushed approach, pacing yourself to get things done without using stress and adrenaline. It feels better and models calmness to others.
You’re allowed to change your mind after a sacred decision. New information and experiences provide wisdom to adapt and realign as needed.
Reach out and connect with others who share your values, even in small ways. You’re not alone and there are kindred spirits who appreciate what matters most to you.
A sacred decision is a doorway to crafting your life with more confidence, meaning, and joy. Keep orienting to your deepest values and partnering with the universe as you navigate the ups and downs.
[00:00:00] Sacred decisions, crafting your life with confidence. This is a real skills workshop and I call it a real skill because man, I needed more skill about making decisions. I would get wrapped up in my head. I’ve got a good head, but wow. It used to roll round and round and round and round. And, uh, You know, I have a memory of decisions that went on for like three years.
[00:00:27] Do I, do I close down the newsletter? Do I sell the newsletter? Do I run away from home and hide in a cave in the forest? Sacred decisions for me was a pathway to a different Way of, uh, engaging around things that mattered to me around which I, I needed to choose a pathway and I needed to choose what I took with me.
[00:00:52] And I’m delighted today to get to explore this with my co creator, Cathy Vartuli from thriving now and the intimacy dojo. Honored to be here. I remember you were the first person that ever, I would agonize over decisions. I would ask people around me. I do research. I’d try to intellectually determine all the possible outcomes and I would get decision paralysis.
[00:01:15] And I would also spend way too much time on decisions that didn’t impact me a lot. And. Just ended up felt like I didn’t feel aligned or I felt like I was guessing when it was decisions that really mattered to me. And I loved when you were like, what you feel into your body, slow down, pause. And I’m like, no, I have to rev my brain up on that wheel and just get all the data.
[00:01:38] And, you know, but you can’t see all the possible outcomes. I could intellectually evaluate things, but I don’t know what’s coming down the pike. So, um, just, I love Rick, when you brought this to me, it was like this whole new world. Um, it was just something that, you know, was like, Oh, there’s a whole different way to make these decisions.
[00:02:00] And I think that it’s a gift when we give ourselves this knowledge and just being around other people. Maybe we’re really good at making decisions now, but that refresher of, Oh yeah, other people do this too. It helps our survival brain go, okay, I can just, this is cool. We’re good. So I’m really glad for everyone who’s here and everyone who listens afterwards.
[00:02:21] So one of the, one of the first aspects of the skill of, of a sacred decision is coming up with a term like sacred decision might not be the right terminology for you. It could be, Hey, I’m working on a decision that matters to my heart. It could be something that, Hey, this is, um, this is dear to me, a dear decision, a precious decision, something that when you land on and I can use all of those, um, sacred for me says.
[00:02:55] As I share it with people, they’re like, Oh, well, that’s different. And that’s what I look for as a coach is a bit of a what’s that. Um, and some people who have a spiritual nature that have done any spiritual work across all the different aspects, the idea of sacred, the heart center, the heart open, the heart aware kind of decision making is a thing.
[00:03:20] Uh, it’s a way of engaging with the intelligence within us, our inner guide, our inner guidance, our inner guides, uh, our intuition, um, and it gets us to include not just this really good part of us that’s up here, but also as I speak my truth. As I feel into what matters to my heart, as I tune into my gut and what it’s saying, and as my hips and pelvis and groin and reproductive parts are feeling into this world that I’m a part of, what What are maybe some things that would help me feel more solid, more confident, more grounded, more, more rooted, more thriving, more free?
[00:04:13] Like, if I feel heavy in my pelvis, I might notice in a sacred decision making, well, my hip, my pelvis feels really heavy. I feel like, what? Might help me feel more alive, vibrant, vital, um, centered. Can you tell that the questions are. Not an analytical thing. It can be. Um, you can start with questions that are like a list.
[00:04:44] We provide a lot of those useful questions, um, as part of Thriving Now. But I want, in the first thing is, this is in a category of decision making that is I want to be different. I’m going to craft a decision making space and orientation in my life so that I can craft it with more confidence. If somebody asked me, well, why’d you make that decision?
[00:05:17] I can speak. Well, these are things that matter to me, right? These are the things that matter to me that went into that decision when I made it. And maybe I’m reevaluating it. Maybe, um, the outcome is still being crafted when you know what matters to you. Like it matters to me to have a body. Yes. Around things that are sacred decisions.
[00:05:45] Yes. And I’ll pause for however long it takes in order to get that. Now, sometimes you get to a place where not deciding to go in a particular direction may have certain things fall away. It’s like, Yeah, that flight left, but that is one of my core values is that opportunity does not knock once it taps on the window.
[00:06:14] It rumbles the foundations of a house that tinkles down in the rain at. Does a lot of opportunities are not something that gets me into survival mode anymore, which is great because I think for a lot of us, we were taught you must jump on it. Like, there’s a lot of people out there and I want to just if you have had trouble making decisions, please understand, you probably spent.
[00:06:37] Decades in school being taught to decide with your head. And we’re also taught most marketing people like jump on it, get on it. You got to grab this now or you’ll never have the chance again. There’s a scarcity mindset there that really can make people jump on decisions and they do it intentionally.
[00:06:53] Because if we’re in a reactive mindset, we’re more likely to buy that expensive car we don’t need, or buy the lipstick that might make us pretty, or whatever it is. We’re, we’re reactive as opposed to grounded and calming to ourselves. Um, so a lot of marketing will drive you, intentionally try to drive you to that reactive, quick, make a decision, grab, This opportunity, but I really do think the universe brings us many, many opportunities.
[00:07:19] They may look different. They may have a different name on them or a different person behind them, but there’s so much abundance in this universe. And I think when we can ground ourselves and help ourselves remember that it’s a lot easier to make decisions because we’re not like, Ooh, this has to be perfect or my life is over.
[00:07:38] It’s, uh, and then can we do some tapping around that kind of work?
[00:07:47] And we use EFT tapping. Um, it’s an emotional technology. Um, that’s what I call it. And if you’re new to tapping thriving now. com slash tapping, you can get our free free course and our guide. Um, all right. So I invite you. Put the cats away, the Facebook cats, real cats. They can hang out with us if they want.
[00:08:11] Um, but, um, my cats used to love when I did tapping, they come and sit on my desk. So, and just, if you would let yourself come here and now think of it almost as a meditation, if you notice your brain drifting away, just like, Oh, that’s okay. I’m going to come back to here because the more we practice being here and now in the moment.
[00:08:28] The more we absorb, but it’s also really good for our nervous system. So, uh, just a short segue. I follow someone who I, I don’t think most people here would like him, but he had, he has some good ideas and he said, what I want you to do the next time you go someplace is just drive, don’t put on the radio, don’t plan where you’re going.
[00:08:47] Don’t worry about the time. Just. want you to be in the car driving. And I drive this route every day. I go to work and I drive this route. And so I drifted sometimes I’m like planning what I need to do later, but I kept coming back. Beautiful spring day. I rolled down the windows and normally I feel a little frustrated because there’s traffic and lights and all this and I get to work like kind of stressed out.
[00:09:10] I felt so calm and fulfilled and I noticed flowers and buildings and things I’d never noticed before. And I was that just felt, and now I do about half the time. I just turn off the radio and I just try to be with the drive. What am I noticing with my hands? I noticed I was holding my foot weird when I was driving.
[00:09:29] I never noticed that before. And I just adjusted it and it was like, Oh, my leg feels so much better. So I’d like, if you can, to just invite you to come here and now notice how you’re sitting, how are you holding your body? Is that good for you? Or would you like to adjust a little bit so that you can be a little more comfortable and present?
[00:09:48] So, and I’m going to invite you during this call, if you can, just to, if you notice yourself thinking about what you need to do later, just invite yourself to come back to this call. And notice your butt in the seat if that helps you feel grounded in your body. I love to wiggle my toes. If we’re present with our toes, we’re pretty much present with our entire body.
[00:10:09] I love noticing the temperature of the air around my toes. That feels really good to me. The texture of whatever they’re touching. Maybe wiggling them just again to bring ourselves in. And a nice gentle deep breath.
[00:10:26] Karate chop. Even though I’m surrounded by people who think in scarcity. Even though I’m surrounded by people who think in scarcity. And everything on TV is about scarcity. And everything on TV is about scarcity. I might actually realize I live in an abundant world. I might actually realize I live in an abundant world.
[00:10:50] Even though they tell me I have to grab those opportunities. Even though they tell me I have to grab these opportunities. And wring every bit of good out of them. And wring every bit of good out of them. What if opportunities come around many times? What if opportunities come around many times? What if they’re like a kind of friendly and persistent cat?
[00:11:13] What if they’re like a friendly and persistent cat? Opportunity cat. Coming over and they bump your head. And they poke you under the pillows. They poke you under the pillows. And they sit there watching you while you eat. And they sit there and watch you while you eat. Opportunities are pretty smart like that.
[00:11:34] Opportunities are pretty smart like that. They keep coming around. They keep coming around. Top of the head, even though I feel really tense about the opportunities I’ve lost. Even though I feel really tense about the opportunities I’ve lost. Eyebrow, I invite the universe to bring the ones that work for me back around.
[00:11:55] I invite the universe to bring the ones that are right for me back around. Side of the eye, some of the ones that pass by may not be a good fit anymore. Some of the ones that passed by are definitely not a good fit anymore. Under the eye, they’ve gotten stale. They’ve gotten stale. Under the nose, I want new, fresh, juicy ones.
[00:12:15] I want fresh, juicy opportunities. Chin, I’m not sure what they’ll look like. I’m not sure what they’ll look like. Collarbone, and I invite the universe to draw my attention to them. And I invite the universe to draw my attention to them. Under the arm, and even present them in ways that are really easy for me to say yes to.
[00:12:36] And present them in ways that make it easy for me to make a sacred decision.
[00:12:44] Thanks so much, universe. That feels really good. So much, universe. That feels Just take a nice deep breath. And if you’re not into cats, you can think of a persistent friendly dog or a child. But I love cats and they just, if my cat wanted something, he wouldn’t be mean about it. But he’d come back and he’d try a different way, a different way.
[00:13:08] And it’s like, you know, I like to think of the universe going, this is really good for you. How about, how about now? No. Okay. How about now? How about this? And how about that? And where are your preferences? And so what you just did is you, to me, you grounded us in the present. Which is the, which is my first step.
[00:13:29] I need to take a pause and tapping is often a way for me to, to pause myself. Okay. I’m tapping now. What do I do? Well, I feel my feet. I feel my butt in the chair. I’m going to be tapping on my body. What’s alive for me, you know, even though I have this opportunity and I’m not sure what to do with it. I’ve decided I’m going to pause and treat it like a sacred, a sacred decision.
[00:13:54] Oh, okay. I love that. And we calm, we calm ourselves into a place where it’s, we’re quieting as Cathy pointed out. Um, there are opportunities that I’ve, I’ve taken that often have come to me wrapped in FOMO, fear of missing out. Okay. And I actually couldn’t have taken the opportunity. If it was wrapped in FOMO, it would have left a really bad taste in my mouth.
[00:14:28] Um, it’s a, it’s a bit like starting to eat the plastic that’s around the cake that you want. Like, yeah, right. Like, yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s not a great plan to, um, and, and that’s why we actively, um, Check our work about FOMO and the like it’s good marketing But it is it triggers people we want people that are showing up for a real skills workshop to do so in the genre of sacred decisions decisions that support their thriving rather than What can make us the most money?
[00:15:11] and Because that is, was that a sacred decision? Well, absolutely. And it continues to be, what do I mean by that? If you’re in business, how you present your offers, there are, there are things that, and I am, I want to be clear. Um, FOMO is useful in certain cases to get people to move who would not move. I know people whose integrity is, yeah, I, I use FOMO with integrity in order to move people.
[00:15:49] And then when they are in my program, I’m helping them get what they really needed. Um, that’s their, that’s their sacred decision. Now, as soon as I feel into that, um, I feel a little weird in my throat. It’s easier for me to speak of my truth. Like, how do I want to be marketing? What matters to me is generosity.
[00:16:14] What matters to me is, um, That I have been in places where spending money on myself is something I could never do Even though I had money in the bank like I was blocked at spending money I could spend it on my family, but I could not really spend it on me. Um, unless I justified it as a safety feature Uh, so sacred decisions we quiet we pause and then we start For me, this is my, once I drop into that, the next exploration is what matters to me.
[00:16:53] What matters to me here? Um, I want good feeling about what I do in my work. One other thing that matters is that the things that I do in my work, I want to actually be pretty close to how I work. Relate to the rest of the world to, uh, like some people really enjoy having a work compartment. Their profession is in a compartment.
[00:17:19] And that’s one of their values is like, I go to work and I’m in this compartment and when I leave that compartment, I am not at work. I am not doing that. The sacred decision to be an emotional freedom coach included that awareness that I Rick like to flow in and out of what I call work and what I call life and play and it’s.
[00:17:42] And it’s interweaving slightly different color textures and the like in my artistry and that mattered to me now. Can you tell if somebody says, well, why in the world do you do that? You know, coaching thing, Rick, I can reply based upon the, the sacred decisions, give me a confidence about why I chose it.
[00:18:10] And this to me is on the other side of a sacred decision. There’s, um, there’s a jerk. Okay. Uh, not inside me, but if I imagine a jerk saying why in the world would you choose that you idiot? Oh used to be here, but now he’s like exists in the world. There are people that have you know, that are not nice Um, but if I if I say hey You know, that was a sacred decision for me I’ve already categorized it as something and what mattered to me was and still matters to me was You Um, I want to live from a generous place and that’s a guide for me.
[00:18:53] I, I believe that energetic exchanges are often financial, um, but they’re not always financial. Um, the, the things that I value are depth and presence. More than quantity. I had a client, um, young man challenged me and said, well, why should I listen to you? Your, your YouTube videos only have 50 views. I said, well, yeah, I do it for 11 people and the ripples from it go out from that.
[00:19:25] Like we have Cathy and I and what we have, Cathy and I and right now, 11 people that are joining in this moment. And do you see, like, and this is what I, I believe that for those with really good minds and rich, beautiful hearts and a gut that is often been wrenched by navigating, uh, scarcity and fear and survival stuff that this container of the sacred decision says, yeah.
[00:19:57] I value my survival. I’m going to, I’m going to make sure that the things that I consider contribute to my survival, but that’s really about 10 percent of my, uh, what I want to focus on. I want to make sure that I’ve built in the landscape of what really matters, what would help me thrive? What, how would this influence the people that I hold dearest?
[00:20:19] Um, not necessarily the people that are biggest in your life because Um, sometimes the people that are even under our roof are not the ones at that moment that are the ones that are the, the, your kinfolk. Um, I want to, I want to draw some attention to something you said, because I think it’s really important and I think a lot of us, it happens so quickly.
[00:20:41] Continuously, we’re not even we’re semi conscious of it. It’s just happening that jerk in our head. That’s like, why are you doing this kind of putting us down? It can make it very hard to make decisions. And most of us have that because we internalized a parent, a teacher, somebody. It’s a way to internally protect ourselves from the world.
[00:21:00] But if we have a lot of those, I used to have so many, like, it was like a cacophony of like, all these, like, that was so stupid. Why did you do that? Why did you do it the wrong way? Why? Why did you drop that? Why did you like, it was noisy and it’s very stressful. I think we make it very hard to get calm and, pause and hear our inner guidance and our alignment.
[00:21:21] So Rick, would you be willing to lead some tapping on that and quote, you know, that jerk and quieting that a little bit?
[00:21:36] Even though they taught me to have an inner critic. Even though they taught me to have an inner critic. That’s part of being a good person. That’s part of being a good person. And a good student. And a good student. Criticize yourself before other people do. Criticize yourself before anyone else does. It is so tiring.
[00:22:05] It takes me out of what matters to me. It takes me out of what matters to me. And I’m considering making a sacred decision here. And I’m considering making a sacred decision here. How do I wanna orient with myself? How do I wanna orient with myself? You can always find something wrong with everything. You can always find something wrong with everything.
[00:22:30] Eyebrow. and everyone. And everyone, out of the eye, and every decision, out of the eye, there’s something wrong with every decision. There’s something wrong with every decision. I don’t know. Isn’t
[00:22:48] that interesting? Isn’t that interesting? What if it didn’t bother me? What if it didn’t bother me? What if I accepted? What if I accept it? That every decision has nuance. I love it. Every decision has nuance. Sparkles behind me. Universe sparkles.
[00:23:16] As long as I’m grounded in what matters to me. As long as I’m grounded in what matters to me. That can be my answer. That can be my answer. And I’m free to answer that way. And I am free to answer that way.
[00:23:36] Mentioned in the chat, and thank you if you’re here live, um, the chat is a way for us to guide and move, um, with the energy of the group, makes it a workshop without requiring anyone to be on camera. Um, there’s this, hey, I’ve got these people in my life and I’ve got this sacred decision I’m exploring, um, and I’m looking for validation.
[00:24:02] Now, um, my primitive brain likes validation.
[00:24:12] One of the things I’ve noticed is that if I first do the work on why this matters to me and why this, um, this pallet of possibilities, these choices, um, fit that, then as I talk to people that are dear to me that have, have solid wisdom, um, I start with that. I say, Hey, I’ve got a. The decision, it’s a meaningful one.
[00:24:43] I even call it a sacred decision. And what really matters for, for me here is to, and you start with that. That’s very different of, should I take this job or this job? Should I take this apartment or this apartment? How can we ground our kinfolk in what we’re tuned to if we don’t let them know? What that does is, They have to, if they have empathy, which is sometimes a question, they’ll try to put themselves in your shoes.
[00:25:20] But they didn’t, they didn’t brush your teeth this morning and they did not put on your underwear this morning and they don’t actually know necessarily what’s growing and alive in you energetically. But if you have empathetic friends, what they can feel as you talk about what matters to you, you know, Is where you’re most alive.
[00:25:43] Does that make sense? I think, you know, go ahead, Kevin. Oh, I just, if you, especially if you orient them and say, listen, I’m trying to make this decision, it’s not just about the money and prestige, but I want to feel alive or I want to feel like I’m really contributing. If you help the right people.
[00:26:01] Understand the context you’re coming from that can melt. They can be very wonderful support. Now there’s some people in my life that are never going to, I can tell them all day long. I want to make a contribution. I want to feel alive. They’re like the money, the prestige, safety, go, go, go. And I’m like, Prestige, safety, yeah.
[00:26:18] Those are the answers you’ll get from them. And that’s useful if you, if you need, if that part of it is missing from your sacred decisions. Yeah, they’re going to point me to the money, their prestige and the safety. Um, and to me that’s part of the ecosystem safety. Um, you know, what is the emotional world?
[00:26:40] What is the financial world? What is the, um, most. Sacred cultures recognize that we have multiple aspects of ourselves. Um, emotional freedom and engagement is, is not something I even knew that it was desperately important to me until I heard about EFT, emotional freedom techniques, emotional freedom. Yes, that’s what I wanted, right?
[00:27:12] And so when we, when we explore this, um, The primitive brain wants to know we’re not alone. And if you’ve got some of that going on, I will be like, um, do I have one person that doesn’t think I’m a complete idiot now it’s nice for me to, uh, to find that person, um, I have made sacred decisions, um, where I didn’t have that person.
[00:27:42] And in that case, it was my spirit buddies who answered that with, this is how we see this decision. If you go in this direction, fitting what matters to you, body, mind, and spirit. And then interestingly enough, if I look at my life beyond that sacred decision, it’s then that, you know, two weeks later, Cathy comes into my life, a person that, embodies better than anyone in my life to that point, the values that I held dear.
[00:28:16] And that interesting. And so, um,
[00:28:23] yeah. Um, yeah. And I just, I think when we’re, we, it’s like a meditation again, we’re trying to make decisions. We’re trying to live, live our lives. Can we come back to what really matters to us, our core values, and we’re not always going to get it right. So like meditation, I kind of suck at meditation. I’m like half the time.
[00:28:43] I’m like, I’ve got to do the laundry, take out the trash. What did that person say that he, what did that mean when they said that? Oh wait, I’m meditating. Come back. Like it’s the coming back that building that muscle of coming back and practicing being present that matters. Um, and so with our core or core values, there’s going to be times when we get caught up on the.
[00:29:04] Flash sale, get this, your life will be all better. Um, okay. That wasn’t really aligned with my core values. I can kind of feel the emptiness I feel when I make those decisions. I kind of feel a little connected to myself and there’s other decisions where I can feel it in my whole body. Different people said solar plexus.
[00:29:21] I will often feel it in my pelvis. Like, yes, this is the right decision for me for, um, in that moment. And I think the more we just keep coming back to that, um, and, and noticing, oh, I’m getting stronger at noticing when I’m not in my core values, when I’m in my survival brain, or I’m reactive, or I’m getting influenced by other people.
[00:29:44] Oh, okay. And coming back to me, the more we make those decisions based from that core part of ourselves, I think the more authentic our life feels and the more wonderful things can come into our world. Um, and I do think sometimes I’ve asked for help with things as I’ve gone through my life, and there was a time, I guess it was like 16, 17 years ago, where my life was not working.
[00:30:11] I had a great job, I had a PhD, I had a house, and I wanted to die every day. I was taking a tremendous amount of drugs every day, prescription drugs, to try to make it through the day. And I was seeing a therapist. I was working really hard, but nothing was working. And I was asking for things to work out, but I was asking them to work when I, you know, it’s praying or asking whatever to help me.
[00:30:35] I was asking according to the script. I knew it did not include EFT or somatic work. It was, I was very rigidly an engineer. I would go to therapy, but like, I wasn’t thinking about things outside of that. And my therapist fired me one day. At the end of a session, I was like, this felt like the worst thing in the world that could happen.
[00:30:58] But because of something he said, he was pushing me out the door. I was crying hysterically. And he said, you might want to check out energy therapy. Maybe that’ll help you. And I went back to work just on autopilot. I shouldn’t have been at work. I was crying. Luckily, nobody came up by my office because I was like, and I would just typed in, it was a decision that moment was to say I could have collapsed and just given up, and there was a sacred part of me that just, my values is typed in energy therapy, and the second thing that came up was Gary Craig’s EFT manual, and that set me on a whole new path, like open a world up that I didn’t know, so I just want to.
[00:31:40] I would encourage you that if you feel like your decision doesn’t have amazing outcomes right away. It may be because the universe is opening up your path for you in a different way. It’s helping you look at things in a little bit different. And you’re going, no, no, no, no, no. And it’s like, yes, please. And sometimes for me, I’m very, very stubborn.
[00:31:57] The universe has to hit me on the head very hard to get my attention. And it’s done that. I think because it loves me because I would have never found Rick. I would have never found the connection I have to myself. I would have never been doing this kind of work if I hadn’t, if that therapist hadn’t fired me.
[00:32:13] And then when I went back to my desk. Instead of just giving up and accepting his decision, I looked for help. And that’s, you know, so I just want to say that our decisions don’t always have this bright rainbow. We can feel in our body really aligned, but we don’t necessarily immediately see a rainbow and gold pot of pot of gold and everyone’s happy and smiling.
[00:32:36] And that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. It may mean that we’re realigning. I don’t know if any of you remember those giant big satellite dishes people used to have for their TVs. And if you wanted to realign them, this, I’m dating myself, this is a lot of years ago. If you wanted to realign them, they growl and they could pick up different channels.
[00:32:55] Well, I think the universe sometimes is going, okay, that’s really rusty. We’re going to have to knock that a little bit and it’s going to make a lot of noise and it’s not going to be pretty, but the channels are going to get after that are just going to be so great. So, you know, I think sometimes I, Still look at, oh, I made the sacred decision.
[00:33:12] I wanna know if it’s right or not. And I’m looking for signs from the universe that I made the right decision. And sometimes it’s not pretty when you’re looking someplace new that you’ve never looked before. It doesn’t look like what you expected. And it can be like, oh, I wonder if I made the right decision.
[00:33:28] And if you can just think of, oh, I’m looking in a new direction. Maybe some, maybe something else opened up because of the sacred decision. Let me be curious about this. So, does that make sense, Rick? It does. And I’m, I’d like to link what you just shared back to what I know about you. And where I, I believe that the people in our community have been making sacred decisions.
[00:33:56] all along, um, when, like, I know you as someone who is persistent and courageous. It was the, that was, those two qualities, um, were so clear within the first 10 minutes of engaging with you. And as you were describing, Even knowing that story, I could feel like persistent courage got you typing, even in the midst of all of that.
[00:34:34] Now, I’m imagining that each of us, if we look at our life journey, there are likely some things that we have valued about ourselves. Courage, persistence, um, sometimes it’s street smarts. Yep. I did not speak my mind all growing up. That wouldn’t have worked out well and I’m still here. That kind of survival savvy is a thing and when, when I go back to the sacred decision making container, there’s a quality of The qualities that I bring in are things that aren’t totally unfamiliar.
[00:35:27] Some are like, how did I get here with this opportunity or this decision? And some are going to be aspirational. Um, as a technologist, I didn’t get the chance to go deeply into the, my intuition, except for that kind of coding intuition or direction for the use of like, I was a good, I was intuitive when it came to tools.
[00:35:57] And I think I applied that when EFT came into my world. Um, but I wanted a chance to go deeper with fellow humans who were, um, willing and. Yeah, as awkward as, as that can be. And so we can have aspirational things about what we want. Um, I knew during COVID, when my daughter, after I found out my daughter had been conceived, that, hey buddy, if you don’t get in better shape,
[00:36:41] she’s not going to know her dad for all that long. Just a sense. Now that’s like, when I talk about sacred decisions, you have to quiet the anxiety. Some of them is like real anxiety that like, there’s a primitive brain aspect to this. You know, my family matters enough to me that it’s enough to trigger me into wanting to take action.
[00:37:09] But guess what? Eh, if I take action from that place, it will not persist. It is not a sacred decision. As soon as I, the trend gets a little better, it will go away. And so I treated that as a sacred decision. And I came up with things that mattered to me. My vitality matters to me, my, my ability to move and have mobility.
[00:37:35] Um, uh, being able to draw on a kind of vibrancy. Um, my sexuality matters to me and I, I want to be a sexy 90 year old. I do, I, I’ve got the right match for that and my partner. And so like, Oh, okay. Okay. Now, when you think about what do you do for, um, exercise, I knew that I X I’m allergic to exercise, so it can’t be called exercise.
[00:38:10] That’s not the way I want to live. Movement, dance, um, And as I explored all the things that mattered to me, to others and to myself, like, you know, I’m, I’ve got a, I’ve got a damn decent body, I can craft it to be more vibrant. In fact, I could, I can really have a trend that lasts for, for decades, potentially.
[00:38:35] Um, one of the things that came to me was walking because it’s something people, well, you just walk and that felt flat. And as I quieted myself and I looked at those values, it’s like, oh, morning mile mornings are good for me. If I get out miles doable. I don’t have to do a mile freedom, right? I value freedom, so I don’t have to go on the morning mile, but it’s a, it’s a sacred decision to make that the foundation of my wellbeing and I communicated that and I communicated why it matters.
[00:39:13] Let me tell you, when you have a new mother who needs as much help as you can possibly give them, and you’re going to leave the house, um, communicating the fuller picture of why that matters helps a lot. And, And I could feel her support for it. Not only that I chose the morning mile, my family can come along.
[00:39:37] I’ve carried a deer on my back. Um, Emerald and I went, uh, for a morning, a morning mile in the afternoon, around one 30, the morning mile does not have to be in the afternoon because I’m flexible that way. Um, so do you see like. Um, by treating it as a sacred decision, it also then becomes foundational for you.
[00:40:03] It’s not just the, the judgment, well, that’s not going to be enough. Well, it has. I’ve done 1, 153 morning miles. And my body, we did a mile and a half today. My body’s different. I can drop into really feeling the, like Cathy said, driving to work. I often walk the same path and feel and see life and nature differently.
[00:40:31] I can build on it. Um, my new sacred decision. Like when you’re trying to get kids out the door, there’s a quality of impatience that rises in me being someone who likes to be on time. So I took that and where I landed was unrushed. Someone out there gifted that word to me. Um, I think they talked about wealth and prosperity, um, allowing someone to be unrushed.
[00:41:03] And I’m like, well, I’m going to start it as emotionally wealthy and prosperous, and I’m going to, I’m going to practice. Unrushed. Been doing that for about a month. Magic! For me, like my energy changes dramatically and I’ve not been later than I would be otherwise. Um, but my experience of it, and so that’s my, because I know why it matters to me, I don’t want to use adrenaline and stress to get other people to do things.
[00:41:39] To make me happy or to keep me from being miserable. That’s, that matters to me to not be in that dynamic. I know that dynamic, I’ve done that dynamic. It’s not good for anybody. Um, I want to have a quality of, Unrushedness. I want, I want people to feel that about me, that I’m competent at getting out the door.
[00:42:03] I can pull things together. I can do reminders. Um, some people in my family need, you know, a dozen reminders in order to kind of focus in and get out the door and get in the Taekwondo outfit and things like that. But if I’m unrushed, it’s like, Oh, Well, it will be a dozen reminders, maybe less, maybe more, but I can pace those out in an unrushed way.
[00:42:33] But that is not to say that I’m ever going to be rushed or anxious or bushy. Um, but I know that I have a sacred decision that unrushed is a quality that I would love, I love these two kids that are sharing a life with me when they’re an adult. To go, yeah, rickety Rick is just, he’s unrushed. It’s so, it’s so weird.
[00:43:01] Um, I, especially coming from a mother who had a script about how we should go and she didn’t always share the script with us. And there’d be a lot of screaming and hassle and you’re ruining my day. Like I think stress adrenaline going on when we were trying to get somewhere. So I really appreciate you, you doing that for those kids and modeling that for them.
[00:43:24] And it’s mostly for me. Um, in the sense that I, another quality of a sacred decision is that it really does serve you. Um, if it falls, um,
[00:43:39] I, I, I see that we’re at a place where More the more of us that make decisions based upon something other than our primitive brain. Um, and survival that we are part of the circle. Yes, my energy serves other people I’m connected to and I’m part of that. I’m a core part of that. And so the decisions I, I want, and, and this is where people, if you tend to think of others first.
[00:44:17] If you have a friend or kinfolk that can say, Hey, I, um, you know, me, I put others first and I’m in the process of making a sacred decision. I’d like to run it by you and see what, what you would have me include or ask questions to make sure that I’m, I’m being, my thriving is being served by this.
[00:44:44] If it helps, I have a, before each call or when I work with a client or anything important, I ask the universe to please let this be in the highest good and serve others. May I be of service to others. And I’ve recently added, please let it also be of service to me. Because for so many years it was like be of service to others and I’m like how about can you be of service to others and to myself and something I got from Al Anon years ago but it really helps me tune into one of my core values is I don’t want to just be here look at me I want to be of service to people and I can include myself in that list now as a way like oh I don’t have to Deplete myself.
[00:45:22] I can also take care of me. I think it’s a, for me, if that helps. That’s the one way I’ve, I’ve found useful. Um, is it about break time or what, where are we at? I think we could take a break here. Um, yeah, a little while. Yeah. I wanna, I don’t wanna get back on the other topic, the other sub part, juicy part until we, you don’t wanna break it up in midway.
[00:45:41] We’re gonna take a seven minute break. Um, and if you’re watching the recording with us, um, current, encourage you to take a break too and. Yeah, and we’ll be back. Do you want to tune people to what we’re going to be so one of the, one of the things that we’re going to talk about some things that really block us and making decisions and, and carrying through with them.
[00:46:02] So I’ll just leave it at that. Um, let you kind of, well, we’ll share in a few minutes anticipation.
[00:46:14] So welcome back. I invite you just to notice how you’re taking care of yourself, giving a stretch, giving yourself a little break. I think it does help like things settle, but just notice how your body feels and how, how being back here, like how you’re feeling. And I invite you to notice if your body’s a little uncomfortable, if you could shift it or maybe take a sip of water, if that would help.
[00:46:38] So, um, I think there’s, there’s two things I’d like to talk about. Um, one is about how we can, we get. We have trouble making decisions because we have a script and I also want to talk a little bit about why we might sometimes leave our sacred decisions for good reasons or for bad or for not for good.
[00:46:58] Did you just give us a binary? Yeah, I did. For better or worse reasons. I don’t know if it’s richer or poorer, that’s the part. Yes. Favorite decision. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, one of the things that I’ve noticed, I do this a lot myself, and I have some really good examples in my family is when I’m making a decision, I will sometimes, especially if I’m not really grounded with my, my values.
[00:47:23] I will make a decision with a script in my head of what it should look like. If I make this decision, if I decide to buy this new car, it will work perfectly. I won’t back it into a pickup truck or a light post this week after I get it, which did happen. Rick was with me at the time. Week after I got it, and it will be, it will work perfectly.
[00:47:43] I won’t have any trouble with registration. Everyone will admire it. I will feel very good about it. Like it, I have written the script of how it will look. If I decide to invite this person to come with me to something, they will be delighted. They’ll be the most perfect roommate. They won’t leave stuff everywhere.
[00:47:59] They will not be, have a be cold. Have a cold or something. So I think we subconsciously often write scripts about how things should look. We have a should in our head. It’s often, it may be just below the conscious level. It may be at the conscious level or just a little bit higher, but it’s as we have these shits in our heads.
[00:48:19] And I think there’s some inner resistance when we want to make decisions based on that, because we’re collaborating with the universe, with all kinds of different people, the weather, the, you know, the, the truck was just parked there, but I backed right into it. Like, I was inattentive. Um, it was parked.
[00:48:36] Nobody was hurt. Um, just the car bumper had to be replaced. But, um, it was a big shock to me. It was my first new car. The first one I owned that I bought brand new. I was so proud of it. It’s actually still sitting out in the front driveway. Um, but it didn’t go by script. And there was a big shock. And there was a feeling like I must have made the wrong decision.
[00:48:55] Because it was hard for me to like, Invest that much in a car at that time, um, or it was, it was hard for me to spend the money. Not that I didn’t have it, but, um, I think sometimes if we can slow down and notice the scripts we have before and after we make the decision, it can help us feel like we were talking a little bit about this before the break, where if we have a script, we have this idea in our head that people, all the kids should be ready to go.
[00:49:20] At the front door, not have forgotten their lunch, not have forgotten their shoes, not have socks that don’t match, whatever. We have this should in our head. When it doesn’t match, we can really lose our, we can lose our balance. We’re not the cool Rick. I’m not pointing at Rick, I have examples of my own life too.
[00:49:38] But, if we can notice the script is playing, then we can slow down and go, Oh. I’m in a play with not just myself, with the play I wrote, but with a lot of other people that have no idea what the play is. They have their own plays going on, and we’re improv ing with each other. And then there’s like the weather, and people we don’t even know that, you know, the power went off.
[00:50:01] Oh, that wasn’t in my script. How am I going to do that? So I think when, even when we make sacred decisions, we may have the script going somewhat that we think how it’ll be. And then we can take it as, I will often take it as a sign, I made a wrong decision if things don’t turn out beautifully, init right away.
[00:50:19] Um, or we can just feel really frustrated and we may have trouble making the decision 'cause we don’t feel. Subconsciously, we really want it to look a certain way, and we’re not sure we can make it look that way. We’ll feel like we’ve failed. So, um, if we can slow down and notice, like, what do I expect?
[00:50:35] What do I think this will look like? And is that reasonable to expect that? It’s fine to expect it, but it might not be. Is that likely to come happen to happen, especially if I’m not telling other people. So if I slow down and notice, huh, I’d really like to have dinner with this person, but I’m really depleted.
[00:50:54] So I can tell them I’d love to have dinner, but I don’t want a big discussion over where we’re going to go. I’d like to go to a quiet restaurant without TVs. I would love you to be present with me and not distracted. Um, I need someone to listen to me. And if you’re, if you’re a yes and you can do those things, great.
[00:51:10] If not, I’m going to find a different way to do it. Now they at least have, we’ve given them a copy of our script and it doesn’t mean they won’t have a horrible day and be like, I’m so sorry I said I could be there, but my brain is full of stuff, but at least they have a copy of the script and they have an idea of what we need.
[00:51:27] Um, so I just think the scripts get in the way a lot. Someone shared, I have too many scripts in my head. I have them all the time. It’s not wrong. It’s okay to have wants of things, but I think often there’s shoulds in there too. I would like it to look this way, or, and I love a friend of mine always says, this or something better, you know, I’d like, I’d like something that feels this great or something better.
[00:51:52] Um, which I think is a beautiful way to put it. So I can have wants, but when I start making them shoulds or musts, or I’ll be a good person, if this turns out this way, um, or I deserve to get my needs met, if it turns out this way, we’re really getting in our way of. Amazing surprises that could help us.
[00:52:09] That this was really me before I found EFT. Like I was very, like, it has, it’s mathematical intellectual. I didn’t really feel like I felt like I lived somewhere above my body. And like, first time Rick was like, what does your body tell you? I’m like, I don’t think I have any communication with my body other than to tell it what to do.
[00:52:28] Like, it was a big effort for me to, like, work, I had to work through that. But I think if we can notice the scripts and notice if there, is this a, like, I would desire this or something better, or if it doesn’t work out this way, I’m going to feel, like, how rigid do you feel about it? I think it can help.
[00:52:50] It’s interesting. I remember this or something even better. Um, that served me for a while, but then it kept putting me into my evaluator. And like, well, is this better? Um, hey universe, you’re, you’re fucking me over here. This does not feel better. Um, and right now, One of my sacred decisions was to land back in who do I want to be, rather than the doing and the outcome.
[00:53:27] I think, just to expand a little bit, when I say better, it doesn’t have to be money wise, or according to It can be like, will this make me a better person? Will this, sometimes I don’t enjoy those processes very much, but like I said, I’m really stubborn and the universe sometimes has to help get it in my head.
[00:53:46] Um, but yes, like this or something better could mean like I’m a deeper person. I can connect with people more. I have amazing experience that I would never like, the more we can expand our possibilities, the more. There’s a lot of wonder out there that we don’t know about. There’s a lot of things we don’t know we don’t know.
[00:54:04] Exactly. Yeah. And, um, I, I don’t, I, we’re offering real, uh, real skills. Um, this aspect of sacred decisions is something that’s, Um, we’re exploring, we’re looking at this, I, my hope is that as more of us try on this or whatever we end up calling it, that there’ll be more wisdom around this than let’s say the Ben Franklin pros and cons.
[00:54:38] You need to make the pros and cons and whichever one is bigger is the one you choose. Because, well, you know, I can make, always make a list of cons. So, so long, but I’d never end, never ending cons. Sometimes they’re useful to kind of get it on paper. I’m just, I’m just saying that that is a part of the picture.
[00:55:03] Um, I find it useful when I’m looking at product reviews and things like that, to see pros and cons. You know that are coming forth from it. Um, and like what you’re talking about for me is where do I come back to? Where’s my landing zone? Because, um, the should script. Is, uh, to me, uh, a susceptibility. So if, if I make a decision and I’m really clear about what makes it attractive to me, and part of that is, well, um, this is how it could play out.
[00:55:42] Right. And I was like, yeah, I like that script and it doesn’t play out that way. Like ever. Um,
[00:55:51] The sacred decision coming back to, well, like, am I getting a chance to be devotional? Yes, I am. Am I getting a chance to be generous? Yes. Am I getting a chance to be deep? Yes. Is this really part of my, my heartistry? Yes. Um, okay, well then how do I want to adapt to what’s showing up? There’s a quality of adaptability rather than re scripting.
[00:56:20] When I have an a real clear script like you’re talking about, I should, well if I do this then this should happen and this should happen. I put out this email and people should, should sign up for the workshop. And I do something I’m really like, oh this really Is great. And then people should jump on it.
[00:56:38] Um, and it doesn’t go according to that script. Where am I left with? I’m left in, um, thinking I got an a plus on the exam and it comes back as a B minus, and I do not know what to do with this. And this is, this is for me as an operating principle, looking back at, you know, am I getting a chance to be the things that were.
[00:57:07] that were essential as part of this. If coaching was not giving me things like deeper connection, co creating, um, a chance to really exercise my empathy and my presence and become a deeper, um, less intellectual and more embodied person. Um, meditation was taking me sort of there, but I’m more of a co creator.
[00:57:30] Meditation is a good foundational thing for me, but it’s not enough. Like I would go nuts as you know, a full time don’t. Put me someplace for 10 days, just meditating and being silent. Um, that’s not, that would be like, yeah, we’re going to take him and not give him any water for, for 10 days. And he’ll be fine.
[00:57:53] Right. Like just water fasts and no food, no nothing. Um, You see me eating the grass and clawing for people. When you know yourself, then you come back to, well, this, this still matters to me. And how do I want to adapt? This still matters to me. And how do I want to adapt? And the adaptation are part of that, that container, like this matters to me, this work matters to me, this relationship matters to me.
[00:58:24] This land matters to me. Um, this book. Or, you know, whatever expression of your hardistry, I know people that, um, I’ve worked with that. They want, they have something inside of them that they want to come out and they’ve had a book and they’ve been like, I want to, I want to do a book. I want to do a book. I want to do.
[00:58:46] And the book never happens. There are two, there, there are pathways here. One of them is when they’re really grounded and why this matters to me and what’s a way that I can show up for that. Quiet the noise. Then the book starts coming forward in an unrushed natural way. Sometimes when they look at like, well, what really matters to me doesn’t end up going into a book, it goes into something else.
[00:59:20] Maybe it’s a workshop that they take on the road. Maybe it’s, um, A different way of walking in the world. I’m writing something right now to feed into an AI five years from now for thriving. That’s the output. Now I still use it for other things, and I’m very clear about why it matters to me. I have 37 bullet points of why doing this matters to me.
[00:59:49] And so if you get a, so someone asked if I could clarify, they said they want to move out of an emotionally abusive home, but it can’t yet afford to. And they’re also terrified of being in a physically unsafe new rental. Just like not wanting to hit a new car. I don’t want to leave until I can afford to not be trapped in another bad but scarier situation.
[01:00:13] How do I tap to ask for that? And I really appreciate you asking that because it is, especially when there’s a lot of, this is something that’s really important and there’s an urgency feeling to it. And, When we’re making decisions like that, I think we always want them to come out perfectly and we can’t always make that happen.
[01:00:35] Um, but I can, if you’re okay, let’s just tap along this and you can change the words, you can always change the words. When we offer something. Want to give you lots of choice. One of the things I often encourage people to do is if it feels okay, try the words on one of the things I’ve been learning is we often don’t know the right words or no nuances until we speak them.
[01:00:55] And I imagine I’m tasting the words as they’re coming out of my mouth or noticing how my body feels. And I work with a therapist who I really adore. And he often just says, you’re allowed to change the words afterwards. You’re allowed to correct yourself. Just speak. Okay. And I’ll sometimes I’ll be like, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[01:01:12] Oh, wait, that’s not quite right. It’s this. And so I invite you to try these words on and notice what works for you, because this is a situation where you want to be as efficient and careful as you, as possible as you go forward. And I get that. So I invite you to take a nice deep breath,
[01:01:33] karate chop, even though I’m not quite sure what to do. Even though I’m not quite sure what to do. I don’t want to jump from one bad situation to another one. Okay. I do not want to jump from one bad situation to another one. And I have to make a, I want to make a change pretty soon. And I want to make a change pretty soon.
[01:01:54] I invite the universe to give me very clear signs. I invite the universe to give me some very clear signs. Like a burning bush would be great.
[01:02:09] That would terrify me. Um, yeah, nice. Neon arrows. Neon arrows would be good. Yeah, I like those. Top of the head. I feel really overwhelmed. I
[01:02:25] feel really overwhelmed. That’s the truth. I probably, I’m scared about making a wrong decision. I’m scared about making a wrong decision. Side of the eye. I care about getting out of this emotionally abusive home. I care about getting out of this emotionally abusive home. Under the eye. And I don’t want to be in a place where I can’t afford to take care of myself.
[01:02:50] And I don’t want to be in a place where I can’t afford to take care of myself. Under the nose, universe, please guide me and help me. Universe, please guide me and help me. Shin, please help me know what I should make, what my next step should be. Please help me know what my next step can be. Kala Boon, and if it’s okay, please be gentle and loving as we move forward.
[01:03:18] And if it’s okay, please be gentle and loving as I move forward. Under the arm, I’m really scared. I’m scared, and it is scary. Yeah, top of the head, and I’d love to know you’re holding my hand. I’d love to feel you holding my hand. Yeah, just take a breath
[01:03:43] and just notice what you’re feeling and what’s coming up for you. Um, I think sometimes when we ask for something like that, I’ve found my subconscious is now tuned to other people. possibilities than what I might have been thinking. And if I see a, you know, you can define science however you want, but I’ll often ask the universe if I’m having a rotten day, I’m like, please show me in lots of little and big ways that you love me.
[01:04:12] And it’d be like the light’s turning green. Oh, I feel loved. I find a perfect parking spot. Like little things can help me feel connected. And, um, I think a lot of us struggle with really complex questions like this that I feel very like this is my life. I’m trying to decide on, like, what do I, how do I decide on this?
[01:04:34] Um, and I love that Rick keeps bringing, bringing us back to our values. And then we can just talk about it. Turn over some of this to the universe so we can make the best decision we know how and I think that the universe can correct course correct from even decisions like I think we want right and wrong.
[01:04:55] This is the exact right time. This will be safe for this won’t. This is certainly safe. This will definitely work and this won’t most of life falls into when it comes to. Survival and home and nest are our core. These are these are extraordinary zones of decision making better, especially if you’re in a situation that is not tolerable and you know it.
[01:05:34] And it’s tender. And usually we want, like, the script. Oh, I do this, and then I do this, and then I do this, and then I’m safe.
[01:05:50] And I, I, I wish that was the way it worked. And well meaning people often would lay out a script for me, done it for people too, just to have them try it on. I notice that when it’s grounded in, like, safety, respect, and freedom, those were three things that mattered to me when I was making a life change, a really significant life change.
[01:06:21] And What was interesting is I remember, um, I was really, I can’t remember exactly where I was. I may have been the barber shop when I used to need one. Um, I picked up a magazine and I’d been thinking, I just, I just want to feel close to people and engaged. And there was a, an article I flipped to, and there was this dude and he, I could just tell by the look on his face that he was living a meaningful life.
[01:07:01] And. He had sold everything and went in the Peace Corps, everything. He just sold everything. Uh, he was, uh, a software guy, just sold everything and joined the Peace Corps. And, um, I tried it on. I was like, that will never happen.
[01:07:31] However, um, that’s the script. If I tried to follow his script, it was never going to happen. Because it violated some things that were really dear to me. I, I needed to be close to certain people, not necessarily living with them, but I needed to be close enough and going into the Peace Corps was not, but as I read more and I looked at it and I felt it, there was a quality of depth of engagement that was more important to him than the money and the success and the status and everything else.
[01:08:11] I was like, Oh, and then that led to other ideas and the like, and I think that’s oftentimes the universe is feeling for, Hey, can you, can you extract this idea from it? And, and be with that. Try it on. Let us get a sense. Um, it can be a no, but there’s a sliver of it that is a yes. We can do this with lovership.
[01:08:45] We can do it with places to live. We can do it, um, with activities that would help open things up for us. Um, it’s not the easiest aspect of the journey, and the more that we’re clear about what really matters to us, the more that those things light up. You can even see the word, feel the words pop off the page.
[01:09:11] You’ll be, you’ll be drawn to imagery and neon signs that aren’t neon, they’re, they’re a word, they’re a, a post. There’s a funny thing that someone, and you know, like, Oh yeah, that’s funny, but it really matters to me. You know, like laughter matters to me more, you know, I, I go ahead. No, I just, one of the things we want to emphasize in this, we’re allowed to make sacred decisions and change our minds.
[01:09:38] We are not stuck forever in this. Like, sometimes we, we need to, we make a step forward. We learn something from it. Maybe that’s what we needed to learn. And it might be, um, I’m just thinking about having living situations. When I was in grad school, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I’ve been living with her.
[01:09:57] Um, and I had to find a new place really quickly with my two cats and a friend recommended this place. I jumped in and there was no bed and they’re like, oh, yeah, don’t let your cats out near my pit bull. It will kill them. And I’m like, no, it was horrible. I was so terrified. The few days I had to stay there.
[01:10:13] Like, I was just like, my cats are my children. So like I made a decision to go there and this is before Sacred Decisions, but like it was the best decision I had at that moment. I had to find a place to stay. Yeah. And I learned a lot of questions to ask. I was a very educational and I found another place that was okay.
[01:10:34] Um, and then I found a place that was really good. Like, we’re allowed to course correct. We’re allowed to say, I’m going to, I’m gonna, this is where I’m going now, and maybe it goes something afterwards. Um, and some, um, some can we tap on? Someone asked about how can I tap to have, uh, kindred friends and community like making decisions around that.
[01:10:55] I think it’s lovely. Um, is it okay if we do a little tapping on that or do you. I want to say just something, um, uh,
[01:11:10] if you feel any resonance with the people that are here, like we’re here on a Sunday, um, people covering many different time zones, there are other people that’ll watch when they wake up and the replay’s posted.
[01:11:28] I, what, if I feel really alone and isolated and not like I’m, I don’t have any friends, that used to be my mantra. The pathway was not to find, immediately find someone like Cathy. Okay. Um, the pathway was to notice when someone posted something, or I read something, or I started feeling A heart and ship heart connection with people around the world that certain things, hey, safety matters to that person matters to me consent, which is what our last workshop was on that.
[01:12:12] That’s so precious to me. And, and look, there’s, there’s another man teaching about consent and there’s. They’re all these people that are having workshops and doing weird stuff that, you know, I, maybe that’s not my zone, but consent matters to me. I know that if we sat down next to each other and I said, hey, I see this consent matters to you.
[01:12:40] They’d be like, Oh, more than I could even describe. And when you know that there are other people on the planet that share some values, these essential things that are true for you, that’s the sacred part of connection that for me has come first. It’s a, it’s a place of, Hey, I am not alone in wanting emotional freedom.
[01:13:08] And no, it’s not. Them or the people who are on budget biologically, uh, you know, blood related to that aren’t Are the ones that are leading the way in that it’s people like her and her and him and her and her The people on the call, you know, I look at these names. Look at these people Look who posts on the thriving now dot center site.
[01:13:30] Look who? Um, you know came together hundreds of thousands of people came together for the tapping world summit Hundreds of thousands of people we are not alone. Even if we’re Not necessarily the normal distribution. Um, and that practice, I, I made a sacred decision to feel this, the connection to living beings as well as non physical beings, but definitely people who were walking this earth with similar values, not identical.
[01:14:09] Not necessarily always the same priorities, but when I, when I, when I met Cathy and like, this is a persistently courageous person and I, that is so precious to me. I want more of persistent courage in my life. It activates me. It gets me to show up. Her vibe of persistent courage made me persistently courageous and continues to do so through difficult times too.
[01:14:37] We can tap into what other people have before they become our. Best buddies, you know, we really can, um, would, would you leave, lead a tapping on that? I just want to riff off yours a little bit, because Rick is absolutely correct. We, I met a lot of really amazing people through the circle. I was called team back then, but I would reach out to different people and say, Hey, I really liked what you said.
[01:15:05] Like when, if I liked what they said a number of weeks in a row, I might say, Hey, do you want to jump on a call really quick and just, or mess? You can, can I have your email? Cause I’d love to connect more. So it’s baby steps going forward. Um, and doing a lot of those. So you can like, if you’re in a rich pool, you might make some, can you find some kindred people right away?
[01:15:25] But I’ve also learned you have to filter through a lot of people to find that people that are just, I have, I have probably a handful of people in my life that I would trust. That’s, you know, Rick’s top of the list. But, you know, like, you need a kidney, I call Rick my kidney friend. You need a kidney, what flight should I get on?
[01:15:41] But that wasn’t, it took some time and a lot of deep sharing and a lot of, we built both into a lot of things. So, um, I think if you can, Notice that it may not come immediately and that you may have to do some of your own work to get out there and meet people. I used to, I’d sit in my living room going, where are my friends?
[01:16:00] And they’re not paragliding through my roof. Like, you know, I didn’t meet, I wasn’t meeting people. I had to get myself out of there, out, out to meet people. So we have to do our own work too. But Karate Chop, even though I don’t have a lot of kindred friends right now. And I don’t have a lot of kindred friends right now.
[01:16:19] I know I have a very loving heart. I know I have a very loving heart. And I’m generous. And I’m generous. And curious. And curious. I bet there’s some people out there that would really like me. I bet there’s some people out there that would really like me, even though I don’t believe it. Universe, please help me find some kindred friends.
[01:16:44] Universe, please help me find some kindred friends. Guide me to find the right groups to meet. Guide me to find the right groups to meet. Side of the eye. And would you give me the courage to connect in baby steps with different people? Give me the courage to connect with baby steps with people. Baby steps.
[01:17:06] Side of the eye. I’m feeling really nervous about this. I’m feeling really nervous about this. Under the nose. And I know I have to be vulnerable to meet kindred people. And I know I have to be vulnerable to meet kindred people. Chin. But I get to do it in baby steps. I get to do it in baby steps.
[01:17:23] Collarbone. I get to meet people over time. I get to meet people over time. Under the arm. And I’m really ready for some heartfelt, connected friends. And I’m really ready for some heartfelt, connected friends. Top of the head. Please help me take the initial steps. Please help me take the initial steps. And just take a breath and notice how it feels.
[01:17:48] Yeah, there’s background things that Apple’s doing sometimes, sometimes not. I know. And I did, I was very, very shy. I’m still pretty shy, but I’ve learned the muscles. I built up muscles to talk to people. And initially it was just like talking about innocuous things like, Oh, the weather’s nice. That was big for me.
[01:18:07] And then gradually as I practice more, I could start sharing more vulnerably. Um, and people will connect with you more if you’re sharing real things when you’re speaking the truth about yourself or about your experiences. That gives them something to, Oh, I feel kindred to that. If we’re just being really quiet or really surface, it’s hard for them to know who we are underneath that.
[01:18:30] necessarily. So, um, it’s a really good way to, like, if you can take some baby steps and share some real things about yourself, it doesn’t, not your bank password or, you know, your deepest, darkest secrets. Start leaving out breadcrumbs for people to find. That can help. So, I know there’s a lot of people want to make decisions on, Rick has the circle that he, with calls, you can go in and go some deeper on your particular issue.
[01:19:03] Um, and, I just want to appreciate the curiosity that brought people here, like sacred decisions. There’s a lot of people that be running the other way, like sacred decisions. I don’t want to make decisions and sacred scary. So again, realize that this group is somewhat filtered. So if you’re looking for really cool people, reach out to each other a little bit.
[01:19:25] No one has to answer. It’s very consent based, but, and start slow. You want to get to know people before you start giving them, you know, really deep things, but you can meet some really amazing folks here that are courageous and wanting to make a difference in the world. And that for me is really juicy.
[01:19:42] It’s a really good start.
[01:19:48] Um, I want to amplify something that you said and I, cause I see it in the chat too, someone brought up something vulnerable and other people were being like, thank you, um, yes, thank you for that question. Thank you for that question. Um, that’s resonance. These are people that are sharing life and similar situations.
[01:20:13] And sometimes. They’re not the ones that can come through and help, help us. Um, friend of mine asked me to help him move a couch. My, my back is not feeling like moving a couch. I’m a very helpful person. If he had had something else emotional, like heavy lifting, emotional, I, I could have helped him with it.
[01:20:34] Um, but not carrying a couch. Um, and so people that are, when we notice things like that, to me, if I’m the one who asked the question. And even one other person is resonant, much less two or three, um, reflections about, um, the universality of this, you know, our, our home is precious, how we feel in it, um, you know, how do we move from where we are to someplace else where, where we are?
[01:21:11] You know, hermit crabs, they line up and they figure out like, who’s going to get the next shell, right? Like they can just figure it out. And then everyone goes off with their new shell, you know, um, we’re not like that. And yet also there there’s resonance and there’s empathy and. In our group, there’s that.
[01:21:32] Um, and you’re right, Cathy, divine filtering is a big part of, I intentionally choose things that repulse those, um, yeah. Uh, because it’s good. It’s part of the sacred decision is I, I love that what we’re doing. As freedom can, um, you know, repulses people that want everyone to be obligated to them or It takes away their power when you’re making sacred decisions We tend to attract people that have profoundly Sensitive and capable empathy meters sometimes to the point where they’ve had, you know, we’ve had to navigate extremely difficult people.
[01:22:24] And that’s sort of, it’s, it’s like if you do weightlifting with just one arm, much less, you know, your whole body, you get really, really. Strong, you know, Popeye the sailor man in one arm, but, um, and empathy for the, for the purpose of survival is like that. It’s a superpower that gets, um, exercised as we, as we take that in.
[01:22:49] It’s like, you know, I want to make a sacred decision about how I use my empathy. I want to use it be for savvy survival, but I also want to put a little bit more of it into, is there anyone resonating? With who I, you know, the values that I have not sometimes when it’s our personality, we can feel sort of defective or broken.
[01:23:14] Um, but when we start reflecting the values that we share with each other, um, to me, that starts rebuilding the common ground. Because we can argue about everything. We can come up with lists of cons for just about anything, any decision. Um, when we are, when we’re sharing that I’m here because this matters to me, or thank you for sharing that consent matters to me too, it doesn’t have to be a big story, but I, I remember the first time somebody said that to me.
[01:23:56] I, I still feel their, um, the resonance of that. So whether it’s safety, respect, freedom, um, kindness. Hey, saw what you did, um, kindness matters to me too. Appreciate, appreciate you. Um, yeah. Thank you all. Yeah, thank you, Cathy. Have a wonderful day, and I hope you find lots of beautiful places you can use this.
[01:24:27] All right. Bye for now. Bye everyone.
Great to have you on this journey with us!
Thank you. Really great workshop.
Thank You Rick n Cathy for such a wonderful timely workshop and Thank You Universe for guiding me to attend its replay. Thank You Rick for posting the Replay. Each sub topic and each of its details you covered, resonated with me. You are really a giver. Thank You
After a very long time m posting but trust me with You both n entire circle members, i keep talking so often in my thoughts. Love You All So Much.
I’m so glad, @Tanvi that it was useful and timely for you. For me, too! Thanks for being with us… Appreciate you!
I agree! Very useful and timely.
So helpful! Thank you so much!