Emotional Self Management - Entrepreneurs and Co-Creatives Need It!

Thriving Together
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When I had 20+ employees and pathetic emotional self-management, worry and stress nearly killed me.

EFT Tapping gave me hope that I could manage my feelings.

(Notice I did not say CONTROL my feelings… hahaha.)

And Tapping has made a huge, remarkable difference. Indeed, I’ve had people remark on my emotional skill when, long ago, I really was pathetic. I was triggered by being called “the boss.” I was triggered by cash flow issues. I was triggered by lack of response to a marketing effort… and triggered by too much response to a marketing effort.

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Being a business builder, or entrepreneur, put one into an extreme. The nature of co-creating when you’re the lead instigator means all of your energy systems will be drawn upon.

My experience of being an entrepreneur makes it clear that it is Who I Am at heart. But just because being in a role is part of our core essence does not mean we’re born with the skills needed to do it without self-harm!

For example, I love pleasing people! When I have an offering that is pleasing and makes a difference in someone’s life, I feel I’m living my true nature.

Yet, the empathy and compassion and willingness that goes into a “pleasing people” nature can also get… uhhh… tortured…

People Pleasing is beautiful… as long as we grow in emotionally intelligent awareness and skill.

The same gift that allows me to use my empathy sense (however imperfectly) what someone is feeling can, without emotionally intelligent boundaries, mean I start flailing around trying to please someone who isn’t pleasable!

So many of the Real Skills that are required to be an entrepreneur are emotional. Yet, the management books I read in my early 20’s were almost all written by men who viewed leadership as expressing power and influence OVER your team rather than power WITH your team.

And none I can recall really spoke to emotional intelligence.

I’m grateful that we’re starting to have children’s books with a clear intention of cultivating emotional intelligence – not just cognitive intelligence.

For me I’ve been shedding the identity label of “entrepreneur” in favor of Co-Creator, and if you are doing that, too, then we’re Co-Creatives together! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

If you look at your past or current co-creative efforts, what’s an emotional skill that would be Really Helpful?

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Manage Uncertainty!

Co-Creative effort has SO MUCH UNCERTAINTY!

  • Will it work?
  • Will it help?
  • Will people like it?
  • Will they pay enough to support the effort to continue?

By default, I learned this:

Uncertain? Then WORRY!

This is not emotionally helpful. It wastes energy. It burns life force that is needed for co-creating.

What’s even a BIT more emotionally intelligent?

Uncertain? Accept that. Be Curious. Engage!

Accepting uncertainty is an active process. We prefer certainty and often resist uncertainty (even though all creative acts inherently include uncertainty!) I use EFT Tapping to accept the unwanted yet essential uncertainty.

Curiosity is an empowered energy. Worry is like leaving your car idling all night and all day even when you’re not going anywhere. Curiosity allows you to move, explore to the right, do a u-turn, explore to the left, follow the curves, stop at an intersection and patiently wait… until the next moment we’re ready to engage.

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Managing fear reactions. I feel so frustrated at my primitive brain when it reacts so quickly to save me from perceived fear. I’d like it to take a chill pill. Ideally, I’d like to be ready for anything – ready for the uncertainty. Go with the flow, trust myself. That feels so hard when I am triggered.

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When we’re triggered, uhhh, the cascade has started.

@CarolLook said something in her recent workshop on clarity. Paraphrased, “You have to do the work before you get triggered.”

I’m certainly not perfect at it, but I do find the “retrospective” can help. Use the EFT Tapping story technique. Go through the story from before the trigger was even close to being set off. Tap on any emotional or physical signals that start rising as you go from moment to moment… slowly… in the story. Pause and tap if anything goes above a 4.

As I remind us of those steps, I am recalling…

  1. I’ve done this with things that used to really trigger me, and they do NOT trigger me the same way anymore. Yay!

  2. Oh, dear, I have a few I could really benefit from applying this to. Especially around noises that hit my nervous system.

Hugs to you Dru! Grateful to be in this exploration with you.

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Having the courage to succinctly express myself. My nerves tend to cause babbling and insecurity in my presentation.

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Welcome @Kari_Sunshine! Great to have you with us…

I talk (babble babble) less now that I practice both the Pause and the Drop In and Tune To.

Does nervousness tend to build up for you during a presentation… or is it better after you get started?

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Yes, helpful reminder. I have to do the work before I get triggered. Thank you. I, too, can see the difference in my responses thanks to the technology of tapping. And, I have so much more work to do. Sigh.

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