Replay is below
When decisions get challenging, what happens in your body and mind? We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for Dancing with Wisdom: Discerning Your Yes in Challenging Times
Ah, dancing with the wisdom within us — and that comes to us and through us. In challenging times, feeling and MOVING with your wisdom is an energy skill worth having!
Want to explore this with us? We’re getting together Tuesday! Join us to feel free and confident in your YES. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
Replay is belowA Real Skills Workshop for: Exploring Wisdom
Hosts: Rick Wilkes ~ Thriving Now and Cathy Vartuli ~ The Intimacy Dojo
If you’re new to tapping, we have a free EFT Tapping Course here.
P.S. Adira says, “Dance up high and free! (…and solid supports are useful)”
You may KNOW what is wise for you… but do you MOVE with it? Tapping, dancing, tap dancing… these are ways to move with your wisdom and embody it. We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for Dancing with Wisdom: Discerning Your Yes in Challenging Times
I’ve got a good head on my shoulders.
I bet you do, too.
Cathy and I tend to attract smart people who, yeah, sometimes are hard on themselves.
There’s something I wish I had known and practiced years earlier, though.
Good news! It’s never too late.
We’re meant to MOVE with our wisdom. Embody it.
Tapping brings that truth into the practice. We embody acceptance and clarity while we move our fingers, tap, and let our energy find its dance within us.
Have you seen the pictures of your brain before walking and after? Even a short walk (“dancing” across the Earth) lights up connections to body wisdom that sitting and ruminating simple does not.
Want to explore this with us?
Replay is belowIf you’re new to tapping, we have a free EFT Tapping Course here.
Replay is belowP.S. Adira says, “Make funny faces while you dance… all the Wise Ones are also more than a little Silly.”
We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]
Dancing with Wisdom is Spontaneous and Improvisational: Unlike traditional structured approaches, dancing with wisdom involves a responsive and flexible mindset, attuned to the moment’s needs and energies.
Tuning into Subtle Energies: Rather than reacting to the loudest voices or biggest threats, wisdom can be found in the subtle, quieter signals that our body and environment provide.
Understanding and Acknowledging Fear Responses: Recognize the impact of fear and the primitive brain’s response to external threats. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment, understanding that they are natural reactions.
Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques such as feeling your butt in your seat, taking deep breaths, and placing a hand on your heart to connect with your body and reduce anxiety.
Mindful Media Consumption: Be aware of the fear-inducing tactics used by the media. Limit exposure to such content and approach news consumption with an objective and critical mindset.
Physical Awareness and Connection: Engage in body awareness practices, like noticing your surroundings and the physical sensations in your body, to stay grounded and present.
Slowing Down to Reduce Stress: Slow down your reactions and responses to allow your body and mind to settle, creating space for wisdom to emerge.
Body as an Antenna for Truth: Recognize that your body is an antenna for what is true and real. Pay attention to physical signals and sensations as sources of wisdom.
Co-Regulation with Others: Spend time with calm and supportive people to co-regulate your emotional state. Being in a safe and caring environment can help you drop into a more relaxed state quickly.
Inviting Gentle Wisdom: When seeking guidance, invite wisdom gently by asking open-ended questions and allowing answers to come softly without forcing them.
Embracing Discomfort: Instead of avoiding discomfort, allow yourself to sit with it and breathe through it. This can transform discomfort into a source of insight and growth.
Dancing with the Heart: Engage with your heart by placing a hand on it and acknowledging its wisdom. The heart has a strong energy field and is sensitive to internal and external states.
Tapping into Meridian Channels: Use tapping techniques to stimulate meridian channels, which can help balance emotions and provide clarity.
Using Props for Clarity: Use physical objects to represent issues or decisions, moving them around to gain a different perspective and clarity.
Gratitude for Primitive Brain’s Wisdom: Acknowledge and appreciate the primitive brain’s role in survival, while also recognizing that modern circumstances may not require such heightened vigilance.
Inviting Fresh Wisdom: Recognize that you have access to new wisdom and resources that your ancestors did not, and use this to inform your decisions and actions.
Balancing Preparation and Stress: Understand that preparedness does not always require stress. Explore ways to prepare calmly and confidently.
Dancing with the Rhythms of Life: Tune into the rhythms of your life and body, whether slow and steady or more energetic, to access different aspects of wisdom.
Co-Creating with the Environment: Engage with your environment in a way that supports your well-being, whether it’s finding a peaceful spot in nature or a cozy corner in a café.
Trusting Small, Subtle Movements: Trust small, subtle movements and decisions, rather than waiting for big, obvious signs. This can guide you gently in the right direction.
Discernment Over Judgment: Focus on discerning your ‘yes’ in challenging times rather than making rigid decisions or judgments. This allows for a more flexible and adaptive approach.
Balancing Generous ‘Yes’ and Healthy Boundaries: Practice saying a generous ‘yes’ while maintaining healthy boundaries to prevent resentment and burnout.
Engaging with Guilt as a Poor Dance Partner: Recognize that guilt is not a helpful guide. Instead, focus on what feels true and aligned with your values and integrity.
Physical Activity for Emotional Regulation: Use physical activity, such as walking or gentle exercises, to regulate emotions and access deeper wisdom.
Daily Reflection for Insight: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on your thoughts and emotions, writing down insights to connect with your inner guidance.
[00:00:00] Dancing with wisdom, discerning your yes in challenging times. It’s the Real Skills Workshop. And I’m delighted to be here with Cathy Vartuli, from the Intimacy Dojo and Thriving Now. I’m Rick from Thriving Now. And I’m going to propose something that most people, when they think dancing, they think like, you know, the traditional kind of partner dance where you’re doing the tango or the swaying side to side.
[00:00:30] Hey. And in, in my heart, dancing with wisdom is more spontaneous. It’s. improvisational, but there’s a responsiveness to it. And that’s what we’re going to be exploring, how to get there, where you really feel then in your body, that you’re connected to the wisest parts of you and the cooperative energy that’s around you.
[00:01:00] And that you get a chance to discern what is a yes for you. Um, we’ve done, Cathy and I have done lots of work on body guidance. There’s a workshop that you can refer to there too. Um, so Cathy, as, as I share that and with all of the discerning that, um, you’re, Help people to discern in challenging times.
[00:01:27] What do you think are some of the essentials for, um, being able to have this skill? Um, well, I’ve been living in a cave as a monk right now. It could probably be useful for that. Cause there’s a lot of noise out there. Um, I’m noticing that, especially with the political things heating up, um, there’s a lot of fear.
[00:01:49] There’s like a lot of clickbait and a lot of fear. Um, this is going to be the end of all times. Either side, you know, it’s like there’s a lot of noise, which really activates our primitive brain. Our primitive brain wants to know it’s safe. And I don’t spend a lot of time watching the news, but I try to keep up and it’s just gloom and doom and does desolation and a lot of fear because.
[00:02:12] That’s how people get, people respond to fear and threats of pain much more than they would have, like, oh we saved a kitten from a tree. So the people trying to get us to click the links are going to be very, like, this is the worst thing that’s ever happened. For instance, I saw it in a headline the other day, I live in California, and they were saying that the citizens of California are in uproar and, and they’re, because there’s a missing 24 billion, a million dollars.
[00:02:41] I didn’t even know it was missing, but they implied, the article implied that we’re all like picketing in the streets or whatever, and I’m like, uh. Nope, no picketing. So there’s a lot of exaggeration and it’s hard for us when we feel threatened, when we feel unsafe to hear, uh, Rick calls it the subtle energies of wisdom, like the subtle nuances of things.
[00:03:03] When we’re like in this really choppy sea where waves are coming over our head and we’re not sure, you know, there’s everyone’s shouting that there’s a hurricane coming and we’re all going to drown. It’s, um, Someone asked, can you define challenging times? Um, it can be political, global. There’s a lot of threats.
[00:03:20] You know, people are talking about Ukraine and Russia, China and Taiwan. Um, there’s the political system, there’s inflation, there’s And those are, those are the global part that we’re talking about. And, you know, challenging times can be right in your own most intimate we spaces. And so we very much, um, are inclusive.
[00:03:49] If it’s challenging for you, if it’s a time period that is challenging for you. And it doesn’t have to be the most challenging time period you’ve ever gone through, but I believe that, um, there are times where if you scale how challenging is this period for me, for me, and this is about discerning your wisdom, your very individual sacred wisdom, um, amidst the challenges.
[00:04:23] For some people. Um, we’re not really connected to U. S. politics, you may not even be in the United States. Um, what Cathy’s talking about is like, oh, that’s, that’s a zero for me, or maybe it’s a nine. Um, people can have loved ones who are going through challenging times. Maybe they have less resource, maybe they have less time for us than they used to.
[00:04:47] Um, so challenging times is saying
[00:04:55] there’s a strain to it. And just because it’s hard or challenging does not make it bad, it doesn’t even make it destructive. But Cathy, if I’m, can I, if I’m hearing you right, you’re looking for things, if it’s challenging and activating to your primitive brain, then there’s an essential first step that we just, we want to honor, that noise can come at us.
[00:05:25] Thanks. We can be pulled in by the gravitational pull of propaganda of any kind and shape, including from Family members. Um, and what do you do? What’s kind of the first step? Cathy, then you in your experience if there’s a challenging time and you’re knowing I’m kind of in fight flight freeze. What is the first step that in the skill?
[00:05:50] Um, for this? And some of you may already know this. We’ve talked about it a number of times, but this is so fundamental. Just like we taught, I encourage you to fill your butt in your seat to take a breath. This is like the core of basically any mindful, thoughtful, present living. So we’ll repeat it. Also, one thing I’ve noticed is, it’s kind of like a, that spiral helix.
[00:06:15] Like, I may, I may learn it at one level, and then I face it again at a different level, and I, I need to be reminded, and I need to practice that bicep curl again, because either the outside stuff is different, or I’m looking at a different perspective. So, When we’re facing a lot, our survival brain is very responsive to threats outside.
[00:06:34] Um, if you see a herd of antelope on the hill, if one of them gets really alert and scared, they all run, because maybe the antelope has seen something. We have that same type of primitive brain, so if we see people very scared or agitated, or reading that people are scared or agitated, our brain is like, what did I miss?
[00:06:51] Oh no, that’s even scarier than noticing the bad thing myself. So there’s a lot of like, It’s very easy to get like caught up in the freeze or fight, flight response. And I think it’s really important if you can to try to be with the noise for a minute, try to be with the experience for a minute. Cause when we try to fight it or push it down before it’s acknowledged, we don’t have the same level of power as we would, if we like.
[00:07:19] Wow, I’m noticing a lot of noise. It does not feel comfortable. I’m feeling scared. And right this minute, I’m actually safe. So I’m going to let myself feel this feeling and just breathe with it. And I think when we slow down a little bit there, we stop being so the winds that we’re getting around us. Um, and that lets us go, huh?
[00:07:42] Like one of, I noticed I was getting very agitated when I would And I would pull up my news browser and I would read like for five minutes what was going on. And then I started looking at it more objectively because I was just with it for a moment. Oh, these people are really trying to scare me because then I’m just going to spend more time reading it.
[00:07:59] They want me to be scared. This is, and, is this headline actually indicative of what’s happening? And it let me have more objective. It let me step back from the, the immediacy of the threat, if that makes sense. Um, so if you can, just like, I invite you just to practice. This is something, the more we practice, the more we drop in.
[00:08:19] Just maybe put a hand on your heart. Like Rick’s doing. And just take a gentle, slow breath. Through the nose is, um, does actually help with the parasympathetic relaxation mode. So if you can breathe through your nose, that’s even better. And just,
[00:08:41] just let yourself sink into your body. Into your, your space. I notice when I’m scared, my, my focus gets a little bit, I’m blending all the threats that could be there. Whereas if I slow down and look around my space, I’m like, oh, I didn’t put that dish away. But there are no lions or tigers. There’s no Pol Pol political people here in my house.
[00:09:04] It’s actually quiet and safe, and that helps my brain feel less of an immediate threat. Does that make sense? It does. And to go to the skill that we’re talking about here, what Cathy just, uh, just touched on was a whole bunch of different dances. There’s the, oh. I’ve got this awareness that this thing is happening with the news.
[00:09:29] And so she started dancing using the wisdom of her intellect. Oh, I know the media. I know the media wants me, it’s, it’s in their best interest financially to grab my attention and whether I stay grounded and happy or not is really not what they’re about. They want me, they want to grab me and grab my attention and grab my, my, uh, my time.
[00:09:56] And so there’s a dance there of the wisdom of what you know about the world. If you pause enough. To acknowledge that when you’re looking around the room, there’s a bit of a dance with a primitive brain. Say, Hey buddy, let’s look around. Oh, you know, that’s okay. There are none of those. There’s none of those things right here, right now that are at me.
[00:10:25] Um, the kids may be crying downstairs, but I’m here. I’m with you all. And. Um, ah, it’s okay. You can use your senses, your eyes. Notice also that she, um, invited us to put our hand on our heart. Your heart. It has been a focus of poetry and wisdom. You think of expressions like follow your heart by putting your hand on your heart.
[00:11:04] You’re saying, I want to dance with this part of me. It may be awkward. I may just kind of be rigid and not really in it yet. Even a little movement or dancing with the heart is a much stronger energy field. It has, um, we know that it has receptors that, uh, are very sensitive to things that are going on inside of us and around us.
[00:11:30] And by putting notice that if I put my hand on my heart, I’m actually Completing a circuit. If you think of this as an energy circuit, what I’m saying is that what’s my wisdom is what I’m dancing with. Everybody else can be having their own dance, but right now I’m dancing with this part of me. Breath. Ah, now we have muscles and air and movement.
[00:12:04] And we know that a calm. Breeze going down up through our nose and down into our lungs, um, sends a cooling signal. I was at a park today. It was really hot. And I was sitting on a bench in the shade and this breeze came along. Immediately, there was, my body started moving with it. Not like, ooh, I’m dancing.
[00:12:32] No, it was like, ah. Breeze, I closed my eyes. I felt the sensations. There’s a wisdom in the cells of my body when they’re hot and there’s a cool breeze to like savor it, to let it do consciously some of it. And we start moving with it. And so these are, these are part of the skill of, of dancing with wisdom.
[00:13:00] It can be instinctual wisdom. It can be cultivated wisdom. It can be logical, kinesthetic. Um, gravity is always a dance partner here on earth. In fact, in, in my favorite dance form, contact improv, they say gravity is your first partner and the floor, you’re partnering with gravity and the floor and you can change your orientation.
[00:13:28] You know, if I, if I get on my back, you do, if you partner with gravity and you move your body. What does that say? In my body, it encourages my primitive brain to unwind a bit more and a bit more and a bit more. Um, anything that we do that is conscious about our body with an intention to, uh, calm, ground, feel, like Cathy also, like, Oh, I’m uncomfortable.
[00:14:01] If you have access to, I’m uncomfortable and I’m going to be with it. I’m not, I’m not trying to run from it. I’m not trying to freeze or hide from it. Now, maybe that’s not an easy skill. We recognize there was big swaths of my life where that notion would be ridiculous. And we’ve been doing a lot of things.
[00:14:23] If you’re part of our group, um, you know, we tap guess what? We are bringing dance rhythm vibration into these meridian channels in our body known for thousands of years. To have intelligence to them, to have the capacity to balance and guide and communicate what’s going on with us. People that are skilled at touching these points, um, can learn a lot about what the state of us is.
[00:14:55] And guess what? We can too. When we touch these points, If, if you kind of are like out here when you’re tapping, that’s fine. Uh, sometimes my brain is like, I need to be looking around still. And then at the point where you can close your eyes and maybe change your rhythm, even change how you’re tapping.
[00:15:17] Take that breath in through the nose and maybe it’s ahhh.
[00:15:24] There’s an underlying wisdom in all these actions. And Dancing with Wisdom says these things that I do, these things that I choose, the menu of choices that I have, there’s a wisdom in them. I want to engage with them and move with them. Because then I can feel for intelligence. The meridians are designed to flow and our intelligence is designed to flow.
[00:15:51] That’s why so many people find that if, um, they’re struggling with something, they go for a walk. Well, now it feels a lot clearer. You just dance with the wisdom that we as humans are designed to be mobile. Not to sit on our bums all day long. Um, we just weren’t architected that way. We can do it. We weren’t architected to do that.
[00:16:13] Yeah. So much of our wisdom is stored in our body. Our bodies are antennas for what is true in reality. And one thing I’ve, I’ve been studying a lot lately is how much we disassociate. from our bodies when we’re scared and how much we practice since we’re little to not be present with our bodies because it may not have been safe for various reasons.
[00:16:37] And then we’re missing out on the wisdom that’s right there. That’s always been there. And if we can slow down and let our self get our brains to be present with what is, uh, the more we can be present with reality, the closer we are to that wisdom. And. I think it’s again, layers that we peel off. I, you know, I think I’m so much more present than I was, you know, a few years ago.
[00:17:01] But then I hang out with someone who does this work very deeply. And I’m like, Hmm, I have a ways to go yet. And I think it’s just like, I imagine I’ll still be like on my deathbed going, huh, where I could have done, but that’s okay. I did my best. So if you can, Notice if you have any resistance to acknowledging the wisdom your body could provide, because I think there’s a lot there.
[00:17:26] We want to dance. And if you think of contact improv, because Rick talks about that a lot, it’s beautiful. Um, we have to be able to flow. We have to be with the other person and the music and the, you know, the, the, the energy of the space. Notice if you have any resistance to letting that You know, is there a wisdom?
[00:17:46] Is there a guidance? Can I hear the beat, the rhythm of the music that is me, that is the life I’m living. Um, and if you have any resistance, notice where in your body it is and see if there’s any thoughts that are associated with it. It’s not safe. I’ll feel too much. I don’t deserve to feel good. Um, I deserve to feel bad.
[00:18:08] Like there’s oughts and shoulds that we kind of embodied from when we were little and we didn’t have choices. If our parents. or put clothes on us or spanked us or, you know, what they fed us, there was You know, a lot of lack of control is not pleasing to the animal parts of ourselves. It’s like, no, I want to be able to play and run and they’re making me sit in a chair and draw, you know, my ABCs.
[00:18:32] Um, so if you can tune into that, if you want to share in the chat, we can do some tapping on that too, because if we want to dance with the wisdom that’s here, we can’t be resisting or fighting or scared of it. Um, or at least those things will make it much harder to hear that wisdom, to be with that wisdom.
[00:18:50] Does that make sense? And there’s also the resistance that comes from the innate part of the primitive brain says, I, the primitive brain is saying, I am focused on what really matters. Everything else is less important. And I know that part of the skill building for me is to say, I hear you and the threat is not mortal right here, right now.
[00:19:15] Yeah. And so I also, I also. Want to feel or other input that helps me to survive and even more than that helps me to thrive Notice how I’m including and as what Cathy said to um, we can’t excise our primitive brain It gets first crack at everything that’s going on in our body And so it’s a relationship a dance with so part of the dance with the primitive brain is to say yes And this is a group dance And, um, there are other, there are other instruments here.
[00:19:56] Yes. I hear the drumbeat. I hear the drumbeat of war politics or whatever. I hear that. I feel it even. And, oh, that is the sound of a bird. That is the sound of the wind through spring leaves. That is the feel of the sun. And there is, there’s wisdom and information in all of that too. So someone said, I have to worry.
[00:20:30] So I’ll be prepared for everything that might go wrong. Um, yeah. And. Um,
[00:20:43] What is a new belief that you could dance with that would be wiser? Would you teach Adira? Adira, you have to worry about everything and be prepared for everything that might go wrong in your entire life. You’re only three and a half, dear, but you’re going to have to worry constantly. Don’t even sleep well, you know, don’t cuddle up, don’t, don’t cuddle up and sleep well.
[00:21:06] You have to be worried and prepared all the time. Is that what we as powerful beings want to teach? And I think that that’s where we dance with the wisdom of if I’m in a constant threat environment, um, With, with predators and other things that are, you know, there’s really no downtime, those of those are our ancestors that survived in that, that was primal wisdom.
[00:21:36] So this is how I would tap on it and feel free. Yeah. Even though there’s primal wisdom in that. Even though there’s primal wisdom in that. To worry so you can be prepared for everything that can go wrong. Be worried so you can be prepared for everything that could possibly go wrong. I feel my ancestor that survived because of that.
[00:21:56] I feel my ancestor that survived because of that. Such primal wisdom. Such primal wisdom. And if I lived in that world. And if I lived in that world. Under those conditions. Under those conditions. Yeah, that would be a wise thing to do. That would be a wise thing to do.
[00:22:23] Is that really where I am now? Is that really where I am now? There’s fresh wisdom too. There’s fresh wisdom too. Eyebrow, I have access to resources. I have access to resources. My ancestors didn’t have. My ancestors didn’t have. My homes are safer than anything they ever lived in. My homes are safer than anything they ever lived in.
[00:22:48] Even the shittiest home I’ve ever lived in is safer than anything they lived in. Even the shittiest home I’ve ever lived in is safer than the home they lived in. They live in. Yeah.
[00:23:01] How do I want to feel about being prepared? How do I want to feel about being prepared? And how much of my life force do I really need to put there? And how much of my life force do I really have to put there? I am blessed to have access to wisdom that they didn’t. I am blessed to have access to wisdom they didn’t.
[00:23:24] And the freedom to dance without getting eaten by a tiger. The freedom to dance without getting eaten by a tiger.
[00:23:33] I think there’s a lot of ancestral wisdom in that, but also if we grew up in a family where there was abuse or bad things were happening that nobody talked about, it kind of taught, like from my own experience, it taught me to think that I had to be more prepared for the unusual things than like if I’d lived a life without abuse happening.
[00:23:52] Um, so I think that’s something to take into account that our brain is really smart. It’s figuring out like, Oh, when I’m little, I’m in this world where. Odd things are happening. No one’s talking about it. I better be prepared because no one’s talking about it. I don’t have support what’s going on. And it’s easy to carry that over into now when we have a lot more insight and a lot more control, hopefully over who we hang out with and, uh, you know, what we’re exposed to.
[00:24:20] So that, that fear, that worry that you have to be prepared, I really, One of the things that I find grounds me the most is congratulating my nervous system for being so smart, for figuring out that I needed to be prepared and then gently inviting it to like, but we need to update a few things. So you did great.
[00:24:38] You, you survived, you helped me survive. So appreciate all your hard work. You’ve worked so hard and I have good news. You may not have to watch out for quite as many things anymore. It might be okay to like come down from DEFCON five to DEFCON two, maybe, or something like that. Yeah. top of the head, I’m actually preparing myself right now.
[00:25:00] I’m actually preparing myself right now. My bro, I have a very useful primitive brain. I have a very useful primitive brain. Right at the eye. I have a useful part of me that can imagine potential threats. I have a useful part of me that can imagine possible threats. Thank you. Oh, possible threats. have a useful part of me that can imagine possible threats.
[00:25:25] And the I. And the parts of me that want to thrive. And parts of me that want to thrive. Want to be prepared. I want to be prepared. And including accessing my wisdom in challenging times. Including accessing my wisdom in challenging times. All about, maybe I don’t need quite so much stress. Maybe I don’t need quite so much stress.
[00:25:49] Or, I wonder what it would be like to dance with my wisdom more. I wonder what it’d be like to dance with my wisdom more. So this, notice
[00:26:06] what we did too, we did some movement there with, I’m preparing myself. My primitive brain is good, well trained, and now I’m building up these real skills. Energy skills, which is emotion, emotion is energy in motion. And if you have the ability to say, yeah, I could definitely get up and Get into the stress of that.
[00:26:32] Right? Like I could, I could bang my head against the wall, right? I could like I could bang my fists against the door. I could pull my hair out. I did that I it’s not a recommended strategy And you know, I can do that I I could I could I could that’s not all of me That’s not even the the smartest parts of me The smartest parts of me are aware that in situations often preparation we do isn’t nearly as, as helpful a choice or useful a choice as the inspiration we might get in that moment, or in the period of time where we’re not sure what to do but we’re inspired, inspired to take an action.
[00:27:25] Um, This is guidance, uh, at its fullest. It includes the primitive brain, but it also includes the whole arc of how do you want to be thriving now? Yeah, um, I think it takes courage too to step out of that. Like if we’ve already had, we have neural pathways that are kind of, uh, the nervousness people are saying, I want to believe I can be prepared and proactive without so much stress.
[00:27:52] One of the things you can notice is that you probably have neural pathways that associate preparedness with stress. And they’re kind of evoking that. Um, they think that we have to be stressed to be really like geared up and adrenaline’s pumping our cortisol is ready to go when there’s probably not a physical threat involved for most of us.
[00:28:09] Um, and if you can interrupt that pattern, that flow a little bit, either write out just like a dope pad, write out some of the things you’re afraid of or write out the reasons you feel like you have to be stressed. Um, that’s one way to kind of break that pattern, but also just like, Oh, I’m feeling stressed.
[00:28:27] I noticed I want to be prepared. I’m going to just see if I can stop that pattern and take my attention elsewhere or tap a little bit on it. Um, that can help change the neural pathway so you have a little more freedom on, around that. And that’s a, it’s a difficult thing to do at first, but as you practice it a little more and more, your system’s like, Oh, I have neuroplasticity.
[00:28:48] I can change this. This is cool. We learn how to make the change over time. So even if it’s challenging at first, it’s well worth it. And tap in with something like, I’m stressed and I’ve decided I want to be more calm and confident. I’m stressed and I’ve decided I want to be more calm and confident. Eye to the eye.
[00:29:08] I intend to be more calm and confident. I intend to be more calm and confident. Eye to the eye. It feels so normal to be stressed. It feels so normal to be stressed. And I’m inviting my body to be more, inviting my body to be more relaxed. Notice what I started doing. I didn’t know the word. And so my body started moving.
[00:29:39] Um,
[00:29:43] I, there’ve been a lot of questions and things that I’ve been getting from clients and people that couldn’t be here, uh, with us live. And, Um, someone shared about going for a walk and, uh, after about 10 or 20 minutes, things start seeming different to me as an as an energy practitioner and, you know, student of energy.
[00:30:16] I notice in myself, too, that if you were to read me in the first minutes, if I haven’t dropped in, it may take 10 minutes. Or even 20, and then my body is in a different rhythm. My heart has changed its rhythm. Literally, I’ve got a watch. It tells me, uh, it goes from 60 to 92 beats per minute. Ah, guess what?
[00:30:43] I’ve got another rhythm going on inside of me. Um, when we change our heart rate, uh, we have access to different things. That’s one of the reasons I believe that part of the neural pathway is that if, if I’m stressed, my heart rate may escalate, okay? So if I get myself worked up, right? We go when we work out, we can get ourselves worked up.
[00:31:14] If my heart is beating a certain rhythm, um, it’s just like how you would dance. With, uh, a very slow song like 60 beats per minute or
[00:31:33] 90 beats per minute or 120 beats per minute. Um, When we talk about dancing with wisdom, there are times when the rhythm that works for accessing something that is really true for you, that’s the discernment. It’ll feel like, well, actually, you know, this is what feels true to me. It can come from slowing down, right?
[00:32:00] And it can come from moving with a different rhythm. Um, if I walk at a, uh, Like just how you move your shoulders, move, you know, it, do you stop and push against the tree or lean against the tree or, um, pull against the tree. Each of those is a way of tuning your instrument in a way that’s different.
[00:32:29] Anyone who’s danced an ecstatic dance wave knows that in the lyrical period where you’re, it’s more fluid. There isn’t a really. Uh, clearly defined rhythm that there’s a feel, you’ll start feeling in your body and you’ll feel the, the organism of all the other humans in the space moving in a way. And not everyone’s moving the same way.
[00:32:54] Some people are slithering on the ground and some people are caressing the heavens, right? Like everyone is, you know, tapped into that rhythm in a different way that feels very organic, organic being good. Um, and then as the dance wave changes at staccato, where the rhythm is different, you’ll notice it.
[00:33:18] And part of the accessibility of wisdom can come from, you know, am I doing all of my thinking in a certain vibe. What happens if I move my body? How do I feel if I take something and lift it 10 times or do a squat if you’re physically in a place where you Are able to do that, but for most of us even for people who have limited mobility Any physical activity changes our heart rhythm And I believe that that’s one of the reasons Why, um, if I’m getting stressed, if I go out and like mentally stressed, uh, and my heart rate is rising, it’s one of the things that that’s actually a call to me to move my body in some way.
[00:34:12] And burning up some of the cortisol and adrenaline as we move, and it helps us feel not trapped, frozen, breaks all that, but it’s really good for our body to move. Another thing that really helps us co regulation. So, or with other people like this circle of people, I can feel all of you, even if your faces aren’t on the video, I can feel your presence.
[00:34:34] I can feel the container of X Bane that’s very safe, very good intentions. We’re all here. Cause we want to learn and grow. We’re not here. Cause we’re like wanting to take anyone down or anything. Like it’s a very safe space that can help us. Drop in very fast because our system, our system is really geared towards co regulation.
[00:34:54] We can learn to regulate ourselves, but like Adira’s three and a half, she doesn’t, she’s starting to get where her cognitive function is allowing her to learn how to calm herself, but she’s just developing that now. Like a lot of people are telling take your six month, six month old baby and just make them learn to co regulate.
[00:35:12] They’re like, they physically can’t, they just get traumatized into silence. So like as adults, it’s really powerful too, to be co regulated. And I’m wondering if in this space, Where we have this safety, this caring, this intention. If each of you would like to, think about something you would like some wisdom on, specific.
[00:35:34] It might be like, hmm, do I buy a new car? Or it might be something like, what do I have for dinner? Or do I tell my friend that she kind of hurt my feelings? Or whatever it is, I invite you not to make it like, should I move across the country getting a new job? That’s a lot to like, bench press at first.
[00:35:50] But think about a struggle that you’ve been having. That you want to have some wisdom, some insight. Like, I’m really not sure how to handle this. Um, and I’m thinking of a friend right now where I feel like he’s really struggling and I want to be there for him, but I’m not quite sure how to support without, I’m feeling like I’m trying to take care, care, take him.
[00:36:11] So whatever it is, just drop in with that for a moment. And I just, I’d like to give just a little bit of silence just to breathe into that. And notice, notice the conflict noise that you might be feeling about at first. There’s nothing wrong with having some noise and discomfort. We’re taught not to be there, but it’s really okay.
[00:36:31] And just if you can breathe again, the nasal breathing does help regulate your brain because if you’re running from a bear, you’ll breathe through your mouth. If you breathe, if you’re calm and recollected, you can breathe through your nose. And just if you want to do this with me and just inhale for a count of four and exhale for a count of four through our nose.
[00:36:50] One, two, three, four, and then exhale, one, two, three, four. Just giving yourself a moment to be with this. And then, I love inviting wisdom. It’s something that’s very, it makes me very, like, I notice my system is like very pleased to be invited for that. So, um, If you want to share any of your struggles in the, in the chat, you definitely can.
[00:37:19] But Rick, can we just do a little tapping, inviting the wisdom forward, inviting the noise to be a little more quiet. Karate chop. Even though I have noise around this particular issue. Even though I do have noise. around this particular issue. I’m not quite sure how to solve it. I’m not sure how to solve it, or even if there is a solution.
[00:37:44] Yeah, and I don’t want to get it wrong. And I don’t want to get it wrong. I invite my body and my system to help me find my wisdom. I invite my body and my systems to help me find my wisdom. Top of the head, that wisdom may be that there’s no solution. That wisdom may be that there is no solution. Eyebrow, but there might be ways I can feel calm and grounded around that.
[00:38:12] There may be ways I can feel calm and grounded around that. Side of the eye, and maybe there are some solutions that I just haven’t seen. Maybe there are solutions I haven’t seen. End of the eye, I’m really curious what I’ll find. I’m really curious what I’ll find. Under the nose, I’m in this really safe, lovely space.
[00:38:35] I’m in this really safe, lovely space. Ten. I’m picking up all the calm groundedness from my fellow teammates. Wisdom dancers. Dancers, that’s great. Collarbone. I can relax and allow the wisdom of the universe to subtly whisper to me. Relax and allow the wisdom of the universe to subtly whisper to me. I’m dancing here with others.
[00:39:04] I’m not alone. And I’m dancing here with others, and I’m not alone. Top of the head. Thank you, universe. I can’t wait to hear what you give, what information you give me. Thank you, Universe. I can’t wait to hear what information you give me, or feel it, see it. And I just invite you to take a breath and be with that.
[00:39:25] Um, sometimes the information come right away, sometimes it’s like you take a, if you, when you wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning, that might be there. But I do think that it’s a, whether you believe in prayer or intention or however it is, I think in just a direct invitation rather than a silent hoping it will hit us on the head.
[00:39:44] It’s like, I’m going to ask for that. I really like it. And you can add if you want, you know, and please let this be gentle. If you sometimes I have. There have been times when the answers haven’t always been as soft as I would like them delivered. It’s like, maybe the universe just need to get my attention, but it’s kind of like punk on the back top of my head.
[00:40:04] Like, Oh, I could have figured that out. That’s a lot.
[00:40:10] I’m curious what people are noticing from that. If there’s anything that they’re struggling with that we could tap on or anything that thoughts that came up for them around this, because there, it doesn’t have to be. Politics and global war or whatever they’re talking about. Like they’re trying to get our fear.
[00:40:27] It could be, you know, I don’t know how to talk to my neighbor about the fact that he keeps putting stuff in my trash can, whatever that is, my neighbor’s not doing that, but, um, those things can still suck a lot of energy from us. Can still make us feel like we’re not in control of our world. And I really like it when I have a clear.
[00:40:47] quiet, grounded answer. I feel like, oh, I’m not just lashing out or trying to put a stop to it because I don’t like the feeling. I’m actually, huh, yeah, this feels like it might be a good solution and I can handle the outcome. Versus if we just lash out or try to make it go away. Sometimes, uh, there’s repercussions because we’re not being as thoughtful or grounded about it.
[00:41:12] Oh, someone, someone shared, uh, along with trying to solve my own problems, I feel like I have to solve my mother’s problems too, bearing too many burdens, but not sure how to let go. Um, as you did that exercise,
[00:41:34] I believe that the first indicators of any solution are going to be felt in a way. is now. It’s not about a course of action. Like this is again, the emotional freedom says, yeah, I want to know the solution or I want to know how to resolve problems. That’s a skill. Problem resolution is a skill. Um, the emotional freedom says, and there’s a often What we’ve been doing is addressing the emotional side of it first.
[00:42:18] So for example, if during that exercise I was trying on, okay, this is the situation, I’m holding my problems, the things that are mine, they’re mine, I own them. But then there are these other things that are hers and I’m owning them too. And I don’t know what to do. So I can’t let them go. Now, if I was doing that exercise, um, and this is, this is the way my body would, I’m, I’m putting myself in that position.
[00:42:54] Notice I’ve got my hands, I’m holding my problems and their problem. Okay. And the first thing would be, I’d notice that, you know, my shoulders are all tight. So without putting a thing down, I start like, Oh, you know, it at least feels better to move my shoulders a little and to take a thigh. Notice I feel less stressed already.
[00:43:25] I haven’t put down a single problem. They’re all there right there. The next thing is I noticed that my hands Are hard. Okay. And if you’ve ever had a screaming child in your hand, uh, or an adult too, um, sometimes if you, you can like hold tight, right? Like, ah, you know, I don’t wanna drop, I don’t wanna pause.
[00:43:53] More harm. I’m holding tight. Um, in massage school, they taught us some wisdom. When you’re massaging, instead of trying to relax your hands, relax your forearms while still holding, holding. So now, my forearms start relaxing, particularly the back of my forearms, and that feeling starts going up to my shoulders and now my heart.
[00:44:21] And I still have, still, the problems are here, but they feel different, they’re palpably different. This is using, um, awareness of our body. What does my body want as I imagine holding these things? Ah, it wants, if it, if I’m going to hold them, maybe I, maybe I, I cradle more like, ah, I’ve been holding them like this.
[00:44:44] Well, there’s, there are my problems and there are her problems, but there’s we, you know, there’s some we space here too. Oh, okay. Well, what if I let her have her problem? What she eats. Today and what time she poops and how she brushes her teeth. I’m going to let her have that. Cause it is an issue, right?
[00:45:06] Like I’m going to let her have it. I might influence or remind or something like that, but it’s, I’m not going to hold that one. Can I let, Oh, now I’ve got a thumb free and my thumb is like, Oh yeah, we can do things now. Um, I know I’m adept at this, but I started off sucking at it. Okay. But what I just did.
[00:45:31] Where it’s like, where am I holding the tension, okay? Like, oh, my shoulders, my, my jaw is clenched! Ah. Where’s the wisdom? If my, if my jaw is clenched, That’s kind of like a dance where the two par are holding each other so tight they can’t move. , I gave a little space, right? She’s like, , I don’t have to take my jaw off and you know, like throw it out the window.
[00:45:57] I no like, you know, and maybe see what my body just did after that. Clenching it went, da, da, da. I’m, that’s wisdom. That’s when you get into the tissues of your body. And during the exercise Cathy was doing when I started off with it. I felt it here. It was uncomfortable. And I was staying with it, with the attitude of accepting that, yeah, it’s uncomfortable.
[00:46:26] It’s not what I want. And this is where tapping was so hugely helpful for me. It’s like, oh, yeah, I don’t want it to be like this. I really want it to be different. This feels like a problem. And it’s really helpful. When I start tapping here, and I say it feels like a problem,
[00:46:49] this is the next level of the skill of tapping for many people. Is when you notice that your body responds. Oh, what if it’s life? Like, there’s a teary, like, you know, people I love going through stressful times. That’s That’s life. It’s not.
[00:47:17] And then during that exercise, the next thing was a feeling of settling. Um,
[00:47:29] like if you turn, if you, if you had rocks and sand and dirt in a, in a glass jar and you shook it and shook it and shook it, it would make lots of noise. Lots of racket. You shake it hard enough. It’ll break the, maybe break the glass. But if you put it down for a moment, you can still hold on to it. It starts to settle.
[00:47:53] And the wisdom there for me was when these things come up, I settle myself because I’m a part of this, we space. I’m a part of this relationship. And if I settle myself, well, there’s less racket energetically. My own visual is, ah, All the rocks are settled and now the sand is settling and now the water is clearing
[00:48:23] is again, like a dance with wisdom. And it helps me discern. Yes. That’s coming on to me. If you just, if the first time I started really noticing my response, my body responses, not just the reactions that created distress, the responses to like What if it’s not a problem? What if it’s not not to be solved?
[00:48:55] Um, then what would it be? Uh, acceptance to be with it, to settle around, get clarity. Oh, I’m really shook up. I’m gonna wait. I’m gonna do some things to let myself return to clarity. It’s an idea. It’s a skill. Um. If it appeals to you, trying it on is, um, it’s a sweet dance when you realize how much you have access to through your body minded spirit.
[00:49:31] Yeah, and I want to, someone put in the chat, I want to erase all self doubt and judgments, and I want to move with ease into a flow of, a life of flow, art, and loving come from. I love that intention, and I used to think that if I just tapped enough, that would be what my life was like, but I really don’t think that’s actually, like, I want to just, We may get to that place, but if we’re growing and changing and trying new things, it’s not always going to be this gentle.
[00:49:57] Like we’re not always going to have a great improv day. We might be improving with someone new or in a different music or like our partner may step on our toes or someone might have a cold. Life happens. And so I think if we set the intention that. I will know I’ve achieved it when everything is perfect and it stays perfect.
[00:50:15] It’s a lot of pressure to put on ourselves. And that’s, it also doesn’t allow us to like be with what’s actually happening. Cause there’s like that pressure. So I’d invite you to change, you know, maybe a Do what you like, but maybe adapt it a little to, you know, like to be prep. My, my thing that I’m with right now is I will be with myself as Beth through whatever happens.
[00:50:38] So that means there could be some shitty stuff happening because the world life happens sometimes, but I’m going to do my best to be with myself and do my best to be present with myself and not abandon myself or judge myself too harshly. And I achieved that maybe 30 percent of the time, but it’s a good goal.
[00:50:54] and I’m getting better at it. So just a thought. I used to, I used to think very much like that. So I have fingers pointing back at me, but it put just so much pressure and I felt like it was always failing. And so I just would love to, you know, offer you a different path on that. In my own wisdom, words like all, um, things that feel, um, those are when, when I, when I tune into something, like I just want everything to, oh, okay.
[00:51:25] I want to just want to race. All of, okay. And I feel when I, when I tuned into the thought, erase all, I can see, you know, little Ricky trying to erase this. Blackboard where everyone is just graffiting and writing and everything all over it and he’s trying to do it cheerfully and then You know, sometimes he gets it mostly clean and then tries to wash it down and then you know, people are writing all over it Now that’s dancing with the energy of it.
[00:52:02] Is there wisdom in that? Well, I think for me it is it’s like Oh, there’s a part of me That really likes things to be clean and easeful and for there to be confidence and that discernment. Notice I used the word discern, not judge your yes in challenging times or decide, you know, it’s discern. Um, discerning a yes feels more like, to me, this is my felt sense.
[00:52:32] Oh, I have some self doubt coming up. I wonder what it is that matters to me here that I might want to tend to. Now, my brain may not know that, but if I go again back to my heart, maybe do a little rocking
[00:52:54] of, you know, this subject really matters to me. And that wave of self doubt that came up as perhaps kind of primitive reminder, this matters to me. This is dear and precious to me. And,
[00:53:17] oh, and you know, I, my body’s asking to shift my energy right now. And in fact, it’s time for our seven minute break and yeah, so if I get a chance to get up and move and refresh some fluids and maybe all of us like, ah, yeah, now it’s time. And, um, that we can use. The energy of it with savvy, if we dance with it, um, and then it’ll, it’ll arrive sometimes as a self doubt thought.
[00:54:00] And sometimes it’ll arrive as a, Hey, you know, this matters to you. Um, it opens up options in my own experience. I’ve not someone met someone who is erased. Um, not when you really get to know them, they become much more confident in the light, but most of the time it’s that there’s neural pathways we talk about tend to more predominantly move toward curiosity and self awareness and acceptance.
[00:54:29] Like Cathy said, my intention is to be with myself through thick and thin. So we’re going to take a seven minute break. And then we’ll be back. Please feel free to add things to the chat that you’d like us to touch on, um, to recognize as we go forward. Can you please come back? Because sometimes this, after the break, we get some really good juicy things to work on.
[00:54:54] So I’m really excited to see what help, what wisdom we can help you access. Okay.
[00:55:04] Welcome back. Um, so I feel drawn to, um, touch on like how subtle can wisdom be? Does it have to be big? Um, how would we discern guidance that isn’t go there, you know, do that? Um, early on, the skill I was developing was discerning my next yes. And that was often so subtle, it frustrated the planner in me, the part of me that wants to know, uh, we’re going to do this, and then this, and then this, and it’s all going to be great.
[00:55:56] Um, like,
[00:56:00] I love that part of me. And dancing with wisdom is, for me, my experience is that it’s, it’s, can be very subtle. Um, if you imagine you’re at a park and there’s a river, It’s beautiful. There are a lot of people and there’s a lot of noise and I’m just not sure what’s going on, what you want to do, who do you want to talk to, if anyone, um, and that kind of chaos.
[00:56:32] Imagine walking down to the river, and you look at it, and interestingly, you can’t tell what direction it’s flowing. What’s upstream? Well, what’s downstream? And you don’t feel like bending over. You’re like, I don’t want to do that. But you get this sense. Pick off your right shoe. And you do. And you feel the grass.
[00:57:03] And you stick your toe. into the water.
[00:57:10] You take one of those breaths that Cathy was talking about,
[00:57:19] and now you know exactly which way it’s flowing. You can feel it on the sensitive parts between your toes. You can see the ripples on the water. Now that your toe is in there, the direction is clearer. And while it’s Felt like a pretty calm day, that there wasn’t much wind. As soon as you take your foot out of the water, because now your toes wet.
[00:57:49] just like if you wet your finger and you hold it up, like I know right now there’s a cool breeze coming across my finger like that. We can feel it with our toes and if we’re not used to feeling. For things with our feet, that might be just exactly a way that you could dance in a fresh way. Oh, I don’t have built up neuropath, neural pathways about how my body might feel my guidance, um, and give me guidance through my feet.
[00:58:21] I, you know, I look at things, I analyze things. What if I used my feet? And, You know, you, you feel if you, if you imagine different possibilities, um, where, and you’re standing up, which way do your feet want to move? You could be standing on the grass, you could be standing in your office. Let your body sway and try things on.
[00:58:51] Doesn’t have to sway big, you know, like a tree in a hurricane. It can be very subtle, the small dance. Like, you know, I keep feeling like my next step is in that direction. And you might feel the impulse in the drive, like, that’s where I’m going. Great. And my practice, my skill of the yes, that’s where I’m going, um, needed to be recalibrated because usually when I decided I was going to do something, it was not coming from a deeper wise guidance about what would support my thriving.
[00:59:30] It might be based on fear of missing out or, oh, it’ll, I think it’ll work out better if I go that, if I do that. Um, you can do this at intersections if you give yourself the freedom to just explore. I’ll be driving around and I’ll pause and like, I feel like drawn to the left and now I feel like drawn to the right and now it’s a dead end here, but you know what?
[00:59:55] It’s an interesting vibe here. I’m going to sit here for a minute. Well, you’ve got some amazing places where you’ve done that, like the best restaurants in the park, or, but it was, like, it was kind of random, like, I think this is where we’re supposed to go, okay? Because there was a, there was a discernment that’s active when we are dancing with, like, when you and I would be looking for a place, I remember when we found, um, the breast, breakfast place that wasn’t, isn’t around anymore, um.
[01:00:30] At least if I’m recalling it correctly, there was a sense that we wanted a place that felt really warm and, and comfortable where we could talk and we wouldn’t be pressured to get in and out. Um. And that it just felt like a place where the best of us could come out. Now that was my, you know, like it was precious time for us to spend together in person.
[01:00:53] And so like that was the, that was the, you know, ah, co creating is good for me. It’s not just about getting a breakfast. It’s about the vibe and the energy. And then you end up hours sitting there drinking coffee and just talking about business. Right. And, and we, we went back there many times. Um, When we would go to a park and we were feeling for like, let’s go off to the left.
[01:01:22] There’s a, when we’re moving and I, and I do invite dance is a kind of movement. It can be very small. Like I could be in a board meeting and, I could feel myself, if somebody’s talking about something, maybe you can notice it, I’m, I’m, I’m accentuating it, but there’s a little bit of a pullback in my body, right?
[01:01:50] That’s my guidance system. All the wisdom channels. Now it could be like I’m repulsed by people. Their attitude or something that’ll feel different. It’ll feel, um, it, it feels different in my body, but if I’m, if I’m buying myself just in a very subtle dance, moving toward it, it’s like, yes, yes. Um, experimenting with this, exploring it, trying it out in a way that.
[01:02:27] You know, like, oh, oh, here’s all of her problems. I’m going to stack them, right? Like you could get yourself a bunch of Jenga blocks, you know, like, oh, these are all mama’s problems. I need a hole in the ceiling. Great. Okay. So here’s one of mine and there are my other ones, but I want to be with this. Like, what does it feel like?
[01:02:52] Ooh, it feels different now. You can use props. Um, you can use, um, anything that, that brings other parts of you online. engaging. Dance is a form of engagement. And in this case, wisdom encompasses what you know, what you value, the experiences that, you know, you might be susceptible to. I’ve been guided, discerned, like I really wanted to go to an event and my wisdom inside of me knows what I’m susceptible to.
[01:03:36] Um, my dad was an alcoholic. And so there’s certain types of energy. That just like they stick with me. If I go and have a great time, I’m still going to be recovering for. From the energy of it for a while. Um, and I didn’t know anything about whether there’d be drinking or what it just, just like, you know, I’ve got that feeling of no, no,
[01:04:08] what is it? My body? Well, Oh, it wants to go out in nature. It really does. It does not want to be, as I think about trying on a building, there’s like, uh, no, I want to, I want to go here. Um, And in that, that particular case, the stories that followed later, I realized without having evidence, I realized that I was tapping into something that knew not was absolutely going to happen in the future, but the energy of it.
[01:04:43] And we have people do this for these workshops too, they’ll be like, I wasn’t planning on coming and my, I was like, I found myself sitting down and clicking the zoom link and it was great. And I have people say, I really meant to be there. And you know what, it completely slipped my mind because I felt my whole being moving to go and walking on the beach or doing a little gardening and that was so right for me.
[01:05:08] Um, I had people play the replays and, and jump forward to exactly the spot by just feeling into, um, I don’t know why I just, I went to 16 minutes and 45 seconds, just felt like the right spot for me. One of the things that I’ve noticed is. There’s it can be challenging sometimes to discern between guidance and wisdom and avoidance.
[01:05:35] And like, if I’m fearful of something, or I don’t want to face something I can. Oh, I think my guidance is telling me to go over here and not deal with that. So one of the things I really encourage you if you feel up to it is to just those breaths I talked about where you’re just feeling the discomfort in the moment.
[01:05:51] First, You’re like, Oh, I can handle this. I can handle the discomfort. Sometimes the wisdom is not necessarily comfortable. Often it feels really good to us, but it may be that, Hey, I really need to tell that friend I’m not going to be so invested in them anymore. Or I’m going to tell my mother that I love you and I care about you, but some of those problems are really yours, and I’m not going to take responsibility for them anymore.
[01:06:18] Like they wisdom doesn’t, isn’t always comfortable. And so if we’re, if we have the habit of practice, the practice of avoiding something of steering away from it, sometimes our guidance will be like, Oh, I should definitely avoid this, but maybe we’re just wanting to hear that as opposed to actually hearing that.
[01:06:39] Because it’s subtle. The better we can get at being with what is and being with a little bit of discomfort in our lives, like emotional discomfort, just breathing into it for a moment or two, the more power we get when we can hear the wisdom in a different way, if that makes sense. And that’s really important.
[01:06:57] That point as a, as an avoider, as a default, um, you’re right that if there’s not a pause to be with, um, One of the things that’s working really well for me in my life is, if I get that kind of avoidant, there can be, um, like, okay, yeah, what matters to me, and that takes me into a different kind of dance, where, like you, you said, like, it matters to me to model That there are things that are mine, and I really, I want to, uh, own the things that are, that are mine.
[01:07:45] I don’t actually want other people to take on that which is mine. There might be a part of me that wants someone else to solve that. Not in my core. I don’t, I, that’s not what I want to model for myself and my, my children and my friends and clients and everyone.
[01:08:08] Like, oh, I want there to be caring and and caring for myself, yes, and caring for them, yes, and caring for the Wii space that we have. If I tune and I dance with, well, what, what would be a caring
[01:08:31] posture here for me and Wii? A whole series of things lights up. And, and one, and there’s like, I might feel guilt like, Oh, but if you don’t, you’ll be, you’ll feel guilty or they’ll try to make you guilty and things like that.
[01:08:54] If I dance with guilt, it’s, it’s like, you know, you’re not actually a good dance partner for me. We’re not, guilt is not a useful dance partner for me. I am willing to feel shame if I violate my things that matter to me that are that are in my integrity. If I, if I, if I go to harm someone just for my own delight, makes me feel teary and sick.
[01:09:24] Um, immediately just to imagine that I’m willing to feel that, but someone guilting me because I’m not, that’s not a good dance partner for me, but I need something like, oh, I, for people that are in my world and they’re close to me. I want to be with, um, being generous, with healthy, with, with a healthy, yes, like I want, I dance with, uh, if I say yes to something, I don’t want anyone else to question whether it’s a yes for me.
[01:10:00] I’m not going to come back later and say, well, you made me do it or something. I did that for you. You should do it for me. Like, that’s. I dance with, I want to be in my yes and my yes, I have a generous yes, there are things that are in no, I want to feel like, is this a generous yes for me? Is it, is it one of those things where I wish it was different, but because I value this relationship so much, I will do it with a generous heart.
[01:10:31] Is it, Destructive to me or the relationship or our future for me to say, yes, I could do it. Like it wouldn’t kill me. But if I keep saying yes to that is my resentment building. Yeah. And so that’s, um, it is a, uh, a S a sweet way of riffing with what matters to you in those cases. Um, dress well, um, stress is not a good dance partner for me.
[01:11:06] It’s like, Oh, I want to dance.
[01:11:10] But how am I really feeling like, oh, I’m not in. You dance with things like consent or am I in my freedom? No, I feel like there’s a have to here. Tap, tap, tap. Even though I feel like I have to, I want to dance with my, my clarity, my consent. I’m a generous person. I like to be generous. I like to be clear. I like to be in my yes.
[01:11:33] That’s good for me. It’s good for the world that I want to live in. You see how that shifts it and
[01:11:45] bringing more movement into our, I don’t think tapping would be very good for me if I just made the statements. I think one of the things that tapping does, I can imagine tapping just like I can imagine putting my toe into the water and feeling the current. Um, I can imagine feeling the breeze on my finger or on my face.
[01:12:07] Um, I can imagine tapping the points. And I believe one of the beautiful things about the practice of EFT tapping is that we are stimulating the energy flows in our body, giving them a little bit of a splash or a thunk. You know, my daughter loves throwing big rocks in the water and when she actually ends up getting one into the water, you know, there’s these, these, these repercussions, uh, the funk and then the ripples and things.
[01:12:39] Um,
[01:12:46] Um, we’re almost at the end of the call and I just would like you to just tune into your body and notice if you’re willing, like, do you feel a little more grounded than when you started the call? Do you feel our systems want to be seen and heard? There’s a relaxation. Just so when we talk to a good friend and they’re really present with us, there’s a like, ah, like I’ve, I’m, someone is really seeing me for what I am.
[01:13:11] I am what I want. And I think when we can listen to ourselves, we can slow down and listen. There is a connection with ourselves that many of us are missing and we might be seeking it out by like shopping or distracting ourselves or whatever. But when we just give ourselves just a little space to be heard, there’s a power in that.
[01:13:31] And it does take courage to listen, to slow down enough to hear it because sometimes we’ll feel some feelings that we may be pushing away, or we might realize that what we’re doing isn’t the wisest course, and we just kind of are attached to the course we’re doing. It’s like, it’s comfortable and I like it and I have dreams about it and I want to keep doing it, but my wisdom is saying, uh, um, so if you can be patient with yourself, this is, you know, As we step into a new realm of wisdom and connection, each time we step out of our comfort zone into something new, it’s sometimes a little awkward.
[01:14:07] Um, we’re not used to listening at the subtleness, the level of subtle. presence that we might be stepping into. So if you feel awkward or uncomfortable or unsure you’re doing it right, just remember that if we’re just gentle and kind with ourselves and keep being mindfully present when we do it, we get better at something surprisingly quickly.
[01:14:28] Um, our brains always think we’re going to be this bad at it. And it’s like, sometimes it’s like two days later. That was so much easier than I thought it would be. And sometimes it takes a little longer, but it’s worth it. Because the rest of your life, you have this level of guidance and connection with yourself.
[01:14:44] You have this level of presence with yourself. And that’s really beautiful and powerful.
[01:14:52] When I was learning contact improv, um, which generally does not have music. Imagine you show up and, what do I do? Bye. Ask someone to dance? Well, guess what? It’s a nonverbal space, too.
[01:15:11] And so, one of the things that I believe is a truth that contact taught me is if I offer my wrist to someone and they turn away and dance and roll on the floor in another direction, Perhaps I’ll be drawn to follow them, but their contact was not their yes in that. And it’s disorienting when, you know, we’ve got our hands full of other people’s problems.
[01:15:44] What do we do when we, like, what do we do when we’re not engaged with a problem, or engaged with a partner, or engaged with someone? And in contact, the remembrance of your dancing with gravity, and your floor is your Your friend and even the wall wall. If I, as soon as I touched the wall, my dance changed, just touching the wall changes my dance.
[01:16:23] If you’re standing upright and you get down in a squat, if you roll on the floor, you get on all fours, um, remembering that. You can come back to these essential things, the air, the breath, there, there, there are people that spend four years in acupuncture school, learning to listen to a pulse to get a clearer idea of what’s going on inside of you and your organs and your chi.
[01:16:59] How often do we feel for our own pulse and, and move with a feel for what might be there for us. We can. We can hold like we can hold a point that we feel drawn to and what point on our body is its dance partner for me right here. It’s right here. Like, ah, and they’re dancing and they’re not close.
[01:17:27] They’re they’re infinitely close and a foot and a half apart. And they move closer and further and they do this little wiggle waggle and then this one moves off to dance someplace else. Um, when if you hear. People talk about coming back into your body, embodying, and presence. These are, these are doorways.
[01:17:56] Pick a spot on your body. Maybe it’s an uncomfortable spot. Maybe it’s a spot that feels pretty good. Feel where else on your body it’s dancing with, or wants to dance with. Could be the outside of a leg. It could be between your little toe and the other toe, and allow yourself to feel a movement of chi, of energy, of sensation between them.
[01:18:23] You may start with imagining it, like imagining putting your foot into the river and feeling the current. Imagining feeling the sun on your face, imagine it and your body will start guiding you to, to feel what’s there. Um, this is, this is one of the sweetest doorways for thriving, uh, and guidance when there’s challenges going on.
[01:18:51] The challenges are internal, external, and that there’s a, there’s a deeper, a deeper awareness that I know from my life experience. I didn’t know it was there. And then I started having experiences and now I know it’s always there.
[01:19:13] And that’s not just for me. These things are doorways. For yourself, your clarity, your discernment. I hope that that’s useful. And Cathy, thank you so much for co creating and dancing with this together with all of us. Yeah, it’s such a pleasure. I love the space and I love the co regulation we can do and the encouragement, inspiration.
[01:19:37] This is something most people don’t ever look at. So the fact that you are tells you something about the kind of person you are. That’s pretty awesome. Indeed. Thank you. Until next time. Bye.
[01:19:51]
Great to have you on this journey with us!
Really found this workshop helpful and connective today and appreciated the really practical experiences and ideas and gentle and slow flow of the call. Really honing in on the inner experiences of dancing with the yes and ways it can be gently elicited and discerned. I also found it gave me some permission to do random things on my walk just because and for fun with some space from my minds judgement and overthinking, negating and stopping.
Thank you all.
beautifully expressed… so glad it is freeing and inspiring for you!
