Not quite sure of the right place to post this. Still getting used to the forum.
Looking forward to the workshop on “Discerning Your Yes in Challenging times” Tuesday night.
I definitely have my own “YES in challenging times” right now. Just got a call from affordable housing and they have an apartment available for me for July! So I said YES. In spite of the money challenges & probably having to go to the food bank to make ends meet and fears about taking the bus and no longer having a car to share, etc. etc.
But now I have mom laying big guilt trips on me and saying all kinds of manipulative things to try to get me to stay with her (she was hoping I’d live with her here at her nice, luxury apartment until she dies!) And I do worry about her - she is getting more forgetful and I want her to be safe. The whole situation is mega stressful - so asking if you’d send good vibes & prayers for us both. Thanks: Jewel
Get clear and strong in the Life Affirming ways that having this other place is a YES for you.
This is useful for your thriving by making it clear to your heart (and the rest of you, too!) that this is a sacred decision. It matters to you to have your own space. It matters to you, perhaps, to be able to settle in and adapt to your life NOW… rather than needing to adapt when your mother dies.
I’m also drawn to share this concept:
We can love someone, like a mother, and yet if we live WITH them, it can be harder (even almost impossible) to really care and have a relationship that feels free.
I’ve seen many, many examples of people who CAN be even more deeply loving and caring… if there is enough distance when sleeping, when waking, when navigating the parts of life that do no involve the other person. At times, more distance allows more depth (or depth when together).
Remember, when people are scared or they feel desperate for what THEY want, there are certain “tools” their primitive brain uses. We see it in children from earliest ages, and while the words and noises made change, we see the same kind of tools in adults, too. Guilting someone who is empathetic and caring is one of those.
“I hear you. You want this to be the way YOU want it to be. And… this is my yes. My YES matters. I care about you, and… I’m not wanting to position myself as your fulltime caregiver from here until the end of your time. We’ll need to adapt, together.” – as an inner dialogue, perhaps this can help defuse some of the manipulation. CARE, and stay dancing in your YES.
Hi again - I am asking for more support, good vibes & prayers (for a different issue). The medical situation here in our province (Atlantic Canada) is not good - there is a serious shortage of doctors. And now even though my 83 year old mom has a family doctor, he is so busy she can’t get into see him until January 22nd and has a prescription she needs refilled but the receptionist says her doctor is too busy to fill it. It’s dangerous for her to run out. I am enraged by this ridiculous situation. Planning to go up there and talk to them in person on Wednesday. I don’t see how they can expect an 83 year old woman to wait all afternoon at a walk in clinic for a prescription her own doctor could fill in 2 minutes. (insert various swear words here %^&(&%$).
Can you please send good vibes prayers that mom & I can get this sorted out in an easier way. (I was so angry yesterday I went for a drive and screamed at the top of my lungs in mom’s car).
Thanks.
Seriously Upset Jewel
P.S. I’m still sick with this damn cold and it’s been 3 weeks now. So some healing vibes my way would be appreciated too (I do not have a doctor - there is a long long waiting list).
