Trapped? Oh, I just LOVE Feeling Trapped…
Obligated. Coerced. Pressured. Shamed. Should On. Have To’d = NOT Free = ANXIOUS!
If you do not feel free to say NO, and you are a freedom-loving being, the situation is guaranteed to evoke Anxiety. Indeed, it is supposed to.
When a client says they are social anxious, I have questions:
- Can you say NO?
- Can you leave whenever you want without being pressured, coerced, or shamed? (by others or by yourself)
Why these question? Because:
1) If you cannot say NO, at any time and for any reason, your primitive brain is going to treat that as being trapped. It will activate its Trap Avoidance Programming – whatever that looks like for your nervous system. For people who feel “socially anxious,” that can be scared, panicked, utterly exhausted, or truly ill.
2) Neutralizing social anxiety means establishing more freedom to say NO even in the middle of an experience. Otherwise, ta-da! Our primitive brain will interpret this as being trapped… so sweaty palms, “leaving” our body, spacing out, and other behaviors that are natural when we’re feeling… trapped.
I say this knowing that this can be activating. Many times, honestly, we put a label like “social anxiety” on top of what really is a profound requirement for freedom – freedom that we don’t believe is there (and probably wasn’t as a child and still isn’t in many families and life situations).
So how do we help this?
a) I believe EFT Tapping – because it is honest about what we’re feeling in our body and thinking in our head – offers a way to clarify what’s real and what’s imagined or triggered from past trauma.
b) If you feel in your core, as I do, that Freedom is essential for you… and if you do not feel you can say NO, learn how to say NO in more situations without requiring your body to freak out or get sick in order for you to avoid getting trapped.
This is not easy.
It’s why we’re doing this workshop. It’s why Cathy talked about getting support. We’ll work on this together in the workshop.
Do you want to live in a world where obligation drives everything? Where have-to’s are what bind us together?
I do not.
I want freedom and choice to be at the core of how we are with one another… and with ourselves.
Why? Because no one thrives when they feel trapped.
If this Real Skills Workshop feels like a YES for you, then accept our invitation and join the engagement. You can leave at any time. You can not show up at all and no one here will call you on it. You can “attend” with the recording. You can pay to support our work, or not! You can avoid us altogether, even unsubscribe.
Don’t ya love that kind of freedom?
So…
Replay is below