What you’re describing is what I’ve come to know as Restorative Practices. It seeks to address the harms felt and caused by all parties – which would include friends and community impacts… and intends for there to be re-integration with community support.
Our adversarial model of guilt/harm is incompatible with that. We try and go black/white, when harm never really is. As I touched on (deeply) in the Blaming… topic, once we get into any kind of compassionate exploration, it is never ever so clear.
The actual spiritual message of forgiveness embraces, for me, a recognition that we “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
These days I might re-craft this more as “I accept that I trespass and am trespassed against… and that is not where our We-space chooses to end. It’s where love begins… and emotional labor from us All is called forth… seeking restoration of grace and connection and deeper safety and respect and freedom for all.”
Victim/victimizer and blame and guilt are easier. They let people choose sides. Restoration is about the ecosystem, to which we are all intimately connected.
Thank you @Dru 