The expression “put myself first” does NOT work for me. I think my heart orientation doesn’t prioritize so I need another posture.
My student-teacher orientation means that yes, I am learning/exploring and I am also teaching (even if imperfectly).
It matters to me to be consistent-ish and definitely not hypocritical. Which means, what I stand for I want to be able to reflect/articulate is what I stand for FOR YOU, too. (Even if you don’t value it the way I do.)
For example, some people value others being OBLIGATED to them. Perhaps it is because those people have lower status in their minds (children, less wealthy, less _____). Whatever. Or they “sacrificed” in the past, or did a favor, and now they are “owed.” (See parent wanting adult children to be obligated.)
For me, I do not want anyone anywhere to self-abandon what is their YES, their choice for how to use their life force, time, energy, money, attention… JUST for me. I stand for the Yes-Yes or please use your energy another way.
From that perspective, I can say: “I stand for each of us doing only what is a YES for us. This isn’t a YES for me, and just I’d want it to be if it wasn’t a YES for you… it is not going to happen this way.”
Is that putting me first? It is putting what I value and stand for first in how I operate this Precious Now. It is both self-aware and as safe and respectful and fredom-honoring of the We-Space that I can come up with.